Thursday, February 11, 2010

Oh what a tangled web we weave……

Completely out of the blue and for no reason whatsoever I'm going to tell ten mini stories today. One or more of the ten stories may not be true. If you feel like weighing in on what might be untrue, please feel free. This is America after all. And just for the record this is a completely random process and has nothing at all to do with Laura Eno, Marisa Birns , Melissa D. Johnston or Estrella Azul other than the fact that they will each enjoy reading my list while sporting a Pinocchio sized nose and a full beard and mustache. [I have odd friends]

1-I have been inside a tiger cage and had a tiger spray me with musk.

2-I have an unnatural fear of mimes, probably due to seeing one trapped inside of a box at an impressionable age.

3-When I was in high school working for a shoe store I once advised a man who would come in quite frequently to order size fifteen women's pumps on what attire would work better on him to disguise the fact that even though he was in full drag, he also had a full mustache.

4-In fifth grade I found out that peeling a nine inch strip of skin from your friend's back after a bad sunburn can actually make your male gym teacher faint dead away on the playground during recess.

5-I saw The Amazing Jonathan perform before he was even a little bit amazing

6-Every night before bed I eat six olives. Not five, not seven, six, and they have to be the kind stuffed with pimentos.

7-I had a paramedic ask me out while I was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

8-I once ran away from the giraffe enclosure in the Columbus zoo after the male giraffe decided to display his… how shall we say, prowess to the world and it was longer than my arm.

9-I have seen David Crosby up close and personal [and no, this one and the one about the giraffe aren't related…although I've heard stories]

10-I love it when Mr. Bean dances. There I've said it and I feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

22 comments:

Tomara Armstrong said...

100% truths if you ask me ;-)
Every single one of them.
~2

Laura Eno said...

I'm going to say that #6 is false. It's the only one that's so pedestrian and you're anything but that. The others are weird enough to fit you. ;)

Marisa Birns said...

I don't think you fear mimes!

You are fearless!

I think you JOINED the mime in the box and did mime-y things.

How was the date?

Yeah, it's good to have the olives before bed.
The oil keeps one's skin soft and smooth.

G.P. Ching said...

It's gotta be number 10. (Who doesn't love to watch Mr. Bean dance?)
You are a terrific liar, Karen!

Alan W. Davidson said...

I'm thinking that #8 Giraffe story is a lie. Not because of him displaying his 'business' but because you didn't run away.

Karen from Mentor said...

AAAARGHGGGHGHGH!

I have warped friends. I can just picture Laura and Marisa in their evil lairs rubbing their hands together gleefully picturing me trying NOT to answer the comments...

All will be revealed at the end of the day...in the mean time? Here, hold my beer and watch this....

Karen from Mentor said...

Alan you may know me a bit too well, but we'll reserve judgement until you hear the rest of the giraffe story...it may or may not include the words "handler" and "very large container"

I have been enjoying reading the other creative writers today. And now [among other things] I know where I can borrow an M-16, hide from mafiosos, get tips on lap dancing and watch a friend snort cat dander through a straw......

Anne Tyler Lord said...

Oh my goodness, does your last comment mean that the giraffe story is TRUE! Ewww, and I'm not sure I want to hear the rest.

Maybe it would be good for Friday Flash, though.

I still think you are lying, I think they are all true.

lindacassidylewis said...

I, too, tend to think all of these are true. :-)

Several years ago, we saw the Amazing Jonathan in Vegas and I laughed until it hurt.

Laura Eno said...

You're just itching to comment to these good people...bwahahaha!

Cat Connor said...

Six is false. It's just yucky.
Not sure about the giraffe one - can't imagine you running away unless it was a giraffe mime?

:-)

Helen Ginger said...

I don't know. You're good at this. I'm gonna say #6. I like green pimento olives, but every single night?

Hey, hey! You tweeted that I was a bad influence! I represent that.

Helen
Straight From Hel

Kris said...

I think 4, 7 and 8 are true... And they're all amusing!

Linda said...

HA, these are all super funny. But the olives sound too tame for you, so that's my guess ;^)

Peace, Linda

judy said...

Alan made me spit my water. They all sound perfectly reasonable in Karen-world to me.

Karen from Mentor said...

I know Judy! Alan almost killed me.

So...drumroll please.....

All but #6 are true.

And the reason I ran away from the giraffe enclosure was that I had my [at the time] very young daughter with me and I didn't want her to be scarred for life.

It's refreshing to see that you all know me so well.

[Marisa? email me I'll tell you about the date]

:0)

Laura Eno said...

Aha! I was right. :) The olives were too - normal - for you.

estrella05azul said...

Oh, the party is over... I missed dropping by on a regular basis!

Loved your list, and all but #6 being true... very interesting! Surely there's never ever a dull moment in your life! ;)

PS: I'm working on my list even as I type :)

Melissa said...

Hahaha! Well, damn. I was going to hazard a guess. Now I don't have to. BTW, I'll have you know that I am not sporting a beard with my Pinocchio-sized nose and mustache. I am sporting a tail. The one I stole from hell. It allows me to command people to go back in time in order to entertain me. ;) These are all great!!

Jodi MacArthur said...

Tigers, musks, mimes, sunburns and giraffes [blank] - oh my!

I found the tiger's cage most amusing. Were you pretending to be dinner? And why did it spray you? WOW.

And how cute about the paramedic. What did you say? Did you take him to the zoo? LOL.

Awww... and Mr.Bean has a special place in my heart. In fact, I just watched the epidsode where he's in church and blows his nose in his sleeve pocket.

These are adorable. I'm linking you up! Thanks for sharing. ;-)

Jodi MacArthur said...

Karen! You tongue in cheek woman. I should have suspected the way your teeth tinged when you pulled the straight face.

Why in the world were you in a tiger's cage? Were you pretending to be dinner again. And how did the musk thing happen? LOL. I can see why the mimes would be frightening. I think they are as eerie as clowns.

Cute about the paramedic. Did you go out with him? And the girafe's,,, or was that David Crosby's. Hmmm....

This is fun and adorable. I'm sorry I missed it the first time around. ;-)

Jodi MacArthur said...

The comment gobbler is eating my comments! Argh.

Oh wait, I just saw the notice below that says, my comment will be visible after approval.

UH, sorry for the redundant comments. I thought the first hadn't posted and blah blah blah. Oh well, now you REALLY know what I think. ;-)