Completely out of the blue and for no reason whatsoever I'm going to tell ten mini stories today. One or more of the ten stories may not be true. If you feel like weighing in on what might be untrue, please feel free. This is America after all. And just for the record this is a completely random process and has nothing at all to do with Laura Eno, Marisa Birns , Melissa D. Johnston or Estrella Azul other than the fact that they will each enjoy reading my list while sporting a Pinocchio sized nose and a full beard and mustache. [I have odd friends]
1-I have been inside a tiger cage and had a tiger spray me with musk.
2-I have an unnatural fear of mimes, probably due to seeing one trapped inside of a box at an impressionable age.
3-When I was in high school working for a shoe store I once advised a man who would come in quite frequently to order size fifteen women's pumps on what attire would work better on him to disguise the fact that even though he was in full drag, he also had a full mustache.
4-In fifth grade I found out that peeling a nine inch strip of skin from your friend's back after a bad sunburn can actually make your male gym teacher faint dead away on the playground during recess.
5-I saw The Amazing Jonathan perform before he was even a little bit amazing
6-Every night before bed I eat six olives. Not five, not seven, six, and they have to be the kind stuffed with pimentos.
7-I had a paramedic ask me out while I was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
8-I once ran away from the giraffe enclosure in the Columbus zoo after the male giraffe decided to display his… how shall we say, prowess to the world and it was longer than my arm.
9-I have seen David Crosby up close and personal [and no, this one and the one about the giraffe aren't related…although I've heard stories]
10-I love it when Mr. Bean dances. There I've said it and I feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.