Friday, September 25, 2009

Running with scissors -- flash fiction

"Doorbell."

"I know honey, I heard it too. It's probably our pizza. Will you be alright for a minute if I go see who it is?"

"Sure, Lizbeth and I are going to do our nails and then we're going to color."

As he left the room Randy glanced back over his shoulder at Sara and Elizabeth as they sat on the floor playing together.

So far he didn't get what all the hoopla had been about Sara needing constant supervision. He'd been here two pleasant hours and was thinking about making this a regular baby sitting gig.

Shaking his head at overprotective parents, he left the study door ajar so he could hear any commotion and went to see who was at the front door.

When he came back twenty minutes later he was horrified at the carnage that met his eyes.

Elizabeth lay gutted and unanimated staring at the ceiling with cold dead eyes.

Sara sat nearby assembling a stack of hacked out organs into some sort of grisly jigsaw puzzle.

Randy gripped the doorframe to keep from sliding to the floor. This was his fault. How could he have left her alone?

He'd been warned. They told him that she needed constant supervision. She just looked so angelic; he would have never imagined that she could be capable of …...

"My god Sara, what have you done?"

She looked up at him with innocent blue eyes "It's ok Randy; I'm going to be a doctor like Daddy. I want to make a collage."

Randy tried to calculate what his front door flirting with the cheerleaders selling chocolate had cost him.

When he had come in tonight Dr. Stevens had proudly shown him his first edition copy of Gray's Anatomy.

Sara taking the batteries out of her doll and putting them into power shears and cutting the book up into pretty fodder for an art project had never occurred to him.

Sighing, he sat on the floor with Sara and handed her a glue stick and an aortic heart valve.

The least he could do was help her finish what she'd started.

After all, Randy calculated that he would be babysitting Sara and cutting the Doctor's lawn for at least the next ten years to pay for the book.

So they might as well make something pretty.




This week's list of fridayflash at Mad Utopia

38 comments:

Marisa Birns said...

Wow! Two peas in a pod.

Dark and wonderful!

estrella05azul said...

Interesting story, a bit weird for my taste... but I like it, especially the ending :)

shannon said...

I liked that I had to read it twice to figure out she didn't actually hack up a real person. lol. Very clever flash!

Michael Solender said...

yowza! strangely, i am attracted and repulsed all at the same time! only a truly twisted tale will do that. evil and good..quite a trick!

estrella05azul said...

That's what was weird for me Shannon :)
This proves how really good the story is!

judy said...

I got to the end and I thought (perhaps even said aloud), "Oh. Cute!" Then I looked at everyone else's comments and decided I am, in fact, dark and twisted.

Laura Eno said...

That's okay, Judy, I'm dark and twisted too. I'll bet that Karen will even admit that lots of her friends are dark and twisted...
Great story! You pulled it off nicely. :)

Paul Brazill said...

Good call!

Dana said...

Ha! I like horror turned into comedy!

J. M. Strother said...

I hate it when my kids cut up first editions. ;)

I also had to go back and re-read it to figure out that Elizabeth was a doll and she had cold dead eyes because she no longer had batteries. Smart little cookie, that Sara is. I like her. Just don't let her in my house.
~jon

Karen from Mentor said...

Me too Dana.
I feel bad for the poor kid. Only seventeen and already in debt....*sigh*

Thanks for stopping in everybody.

And thanks for tweeting me since I don't tweet.

I'll be working my way through the flash list over the weekend.
I'm really enjoying everybody's take on my story.
Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Jon,
I specifically used the word "unanimated" to describe Elizabeth laying there with her battery compartment so rudely open and empty. That way I felt I wasn't cheating. I wanted to mis direct...not mislead.

And I'm pretty sure that Randy will take Sara with him when the pizza actually does arrive at the front door.

Thanks for stopping in.
Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

And Judy and Laura? A lot of my friends are twisted, but in a GOOD way....the dark? not so much.
I had a friend ask me if it was a good idea to kill off a lover every week what with me having just reentered the dating pool....I thought that was funny... oh, and maybe a little bit dark...so......whose point did I just prove?

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Marissa, Estrella, Shannon & Michael...

wonderful, weird, clever and twisted....

aw...you guys...you're making me blush...

but in a dark and twisted way....

giggling

Karen from Mentor said...

Paul,
I just read yours. Fun!
He should have a) stayed in the hospital a bit longer or b) looked both ways before rushing head long into a [very short]new life filled with adventure.
Thanks for stopping in.
Karen :0)

~Tim said...

On the bright side, that pizza is so late it should be free!

Alan said...

I'm a dark and twisted friend and I loved this - well done.

Does it make me weird that I was more horrified that she'd cut up a first edition than that she'd cut up her friend? Then when I suddenly realised that the friend was a doll, it still didn't matter. I would have more concerned for the book than a real friend or a doll. Books, man - they're important.

Mark Kerstetter said...

This was fun. "Gutted and Unanimated" sounds like a punk rock song.

Netta said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that found this hilarious and shockingly blasphemous. A first edition? OH THE HORROR.

I may never recover.

Excellent. I love coming here and reading your stories. I might think twice about meeting you in a dark alley....heh. ;)

Karen from Mentor said...

Netta,
I promise if I ever meet you in a dark alley not to hack your organs out with power shears.
There. Now you have it in writing. Feel better?

Keep coming back. Maybe I'll do something even more horrifying next week. Like dog ear the pages of an original Audubon.....

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Alan in this day and age we've been desensitized to hacked out organs, but you still don't see a lot of book carnage on CSI.....

You definitely fall into my dark and twisted friends category. Glad you liked the story.
[feels warm and fuzzy]
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Tim, the pizza should absolutely be free, maybe the driver was busy listening to Mark's punk song...

The two of you should get together and work up an act .....

Thanks for stopping in guys.

:0)

lindacassidylewis said...

Coming in late on this one, but just wanted to say I LOVED IT! So clever. So twisted. So YOU. :-)

Merrilee said...

That was very clever :)

Al Bruno III said...

Super clever and super cool!

Karen from Mentor said...

Hey Al, glad you liked it.

Thanks Merrilee I'm glad you thought it was clever even without an alien! [oh inspiration for next week]

Laughing Linda, I agree it's me, but still not sure how twisted it is....I think the reader had to do most of the dark work on this one.
Thanks for stopping in sweetie!

Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Just want to note that Netta's story *Long Time* is an especially fun read this week.
http://wordwebbing.com/http:/wordwebbing.com/long-time-friday-flash-fiction/

Chris Chartrand said...

Count me in as dark and twisted too because I thought this was hilarious. I appreciate the misdirection vs. misleading. Excellent

Country Girl said...

Darling...you are rather twisty sometimes - aren't you? Which is almost as good as bendy. But not quite. But good nonetheless. In a totally different way.

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh honey,
I'm bendy. Real bendy, but that's a different comment thread I think.

I still don't think this was all that twisted.
giggling...but hey, I only WROTE the darn thing....who am I to judge?
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

I'm glad you liked it Chris.
I think I'll have to make a chart and separate the dark and twisted from the only mildly bent in my circle of writing friends.
Should be fun.Hmmmm..... now where DID I put my graphing calculator?
:0)

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

I enjoyed this :)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Mazz.
:0)

Tony Noland said...

It took me a second read-through to sort out the book parts from the doll parts. Good horror twist.

Eric J. Krause said...

I was wondering how he hadn't heard the horror. Now I see. Excellent! I enjoyed that one, even though (especially since?) I didn't see the ending coming.

Karen from Mentor said...

Glad to entertain you Eric. It's nice to know that the end didn't project even with the clues....
[love when that happens]

Thanks Tony. I'm pretty sure that after we stopped watching Randy took the batteries out of the shears, put them back into Elizabeth's tummy and she helped them make a very very expensive medical collage.
Thanks for stopping in.

Karen :0)

Jewell Hershey said...

Oh! This is so good. When I read it the first time I thought, "Oh dear, this is nightmare fodder...." Then I read Shannon's comment, read the story again and relaxed. But I became disturbed again when I realized how many assumptions I made in such a short time.

Karen from Mentor said...

I'm glad you liked it Jewell. And I'm glad you read the comments so you didn't have nightmares. All the different reactions to this piece were pretty interesting.

Thanks for stopping in to add yours.
Karen :0)