Do you ever really know someone? Oh you can know their favorite color, where they grew up, how they got the scar on their left pinky, their birthday, their favorite movie actor, why they're afraid of spiders, their mother's maiden name. All things that you could use to steal their identity, but are these collected things, these little peeks into the window of the mind and soul enough things to steal yourself into their heart and mind? In the time of information overload, how much information is necessary to plant a seed in another heart so that it can grow to fruition and become a relationship? Is friendship made with words, with deeds, with touch, with text, with gestures? Is connection built slowly on a foundation of small steps or is it built on giant leaps of faith where you grasp the hand of another, virtual or otherwise, close your eyes , take that leap……… and trust?
I've always been a person who trusted easily. And sometimes that has come back to bite me in the butt.
But it's hard for me to imagine living my life closed up and off from other people. I don't mind being vulnerable in a lot of situations because if my guard is down it means that I'm really communicating with another soul.
If my heart is open then I'm making a space for the other person to come inside of me.
And I don't just mean physically. I mean inside of my heart, my mind my being.
To really get under my skin.
When you work to get that connection, that real understanding of another person's wants, needs and desires, then it makes the physical aspect so much deeper and more connected.
And if you actually understand your own wants, needs and desires, well then you're ahead of the game.
A lot of people go their whole life without ever really knowing themselves, let alone getting to know those around them.
I think that what I'm talking about is really trying to connect on a level where you can accept another person for who and for what they really are and not be blinded to reality by your own projection of what you think they are or what you'd like them to be.
A friend of mine recently said to me "I think that most relationships fail because of things that were there in the beginning but because of lust, loneliness or wishful thinking people tend to sweep issues under the rug until later on when there are other problems."
[she's very wise]
So my question is I guess, how long does it take to build trust? Is leaping a good idea? Do lasting friendships happen for adults like they do for children?
You bonk someone on the head with your tonka truck and after apologizing then you're bff?
And here's a big one…..
Can men and women just be friends?
Ok, now you guys just take your time.
Slow steady deep breaths.
Don't want anybody's head to explode……….. [again]
P.S. I wrote the first six lines in response to a writing challenge in brevity. It's AMAZING what you can say in just six lines. And it really concentrates the mind. Kind of like the prospect of being hanged in the morning….....