I salivate at the sight of mittens

My friend Leigh Barlow had that sentence as a tag to his email signature recently. I laughed and laughed and thought that it was brilliant. I instantly emailed him and asked if I could quote him. While waiting for a response [we live in different time zones] I typed it into google and found out that the line belonged to author/columnist Art Buchwald. In the mid sixties Buchwald wrote an extensive list of questions that satirized personality questionnaires. I salivate at the sight of mittens was one of his satiric true/false questions.

While researching the line I found a number of so called "verbal Rorschach tests" patterned on Buchwald's original list.

I'm going to share an amalgam of my favorite test questions with you.

Feel free to shout out true or false as you read the questions in the privacy of your own home.

Or if you're in public feel free to shout out both the question and the answer.

Go ahead. Tell them Karen said it was ok.

Here's the list:

I salivate at the sight of mittens

I prefer spiders to lima beans

I become homicidal when people try to reason with me

God rarely answers my letters

Sitting in the glove compartment makes me claustrophobic

It is hard for me to find the right thing to say when I find myself in a room full of mice

I am afraid of finding myself in a drawer or some other compromising place

When I was a child I was an imaginary playmate

My parents always faced catastrophe with a song

I think oatmeal is erotic

I have an uncontrollable urge to fondle other people's teeth

I am piqued when I find a rhinoceros in my bed

I am often bothered by thoughts of sex while having intercourse

It makes me angry to have people bury me

When I was younger I used to tease vegetables

I am easily wakened by the firing of cannons

I don't enjoy room temperature

I often line my pockets with hot cheese

My dog is someone else's best friend

Walls impede my progress

My toes are numbered

I've lost all sensation in my shirt

As an infant I had very few hobbies

And finally [this is just plain mean]

I like to put chameleons on plaid cloth

Feel free to tell me your favorite from the list and I just BET someone can guess mine.