Friday, November 6, 2009

The Key [rated R] -- flash fiction

I just don't get Simon's problem.

If I know him well enough to let him stick his tongue in my pussy why don't I also know him well enough to know what the damn key he wears around his neck is for?

And he never takes it off.

Not even when we shower.

It's just always there, on that pitiful piece of string, dangling on his hard chest just between his nipples. And since we're the same height when we wrap ourselves around each other face to face it dangles between mine. When we stand together in the shower slowly soaping one another I can reach everywhere that there is to be reached without losing mouth to mouth and nipple to nipple contact.

I love those moments. He's so naked then, so vulnerable. I love to trace the scars and nicks that map the history of Simon's past on his skin. All the little gashes, the bullet holes, the knife wounds. He has that one gouge on the flesh of his pecs that healed to a tiny perfect circle.

The first time we were in the shower and I eased over and inserted my nipple into it he moaned and almost came right then. Afterwards he said that I was the most imaginative woman that he'd ever been with.

But even with all my imagination I just could not figure out what that damn key could be for.

Standing over him now while he slept in this broiling Florida motel, the fan just barely stirring the dead air, his naked torso sporting a tent under the thin sheet that slashed across his waist I wondered do I love him?

Does he love me?

The scissors weighed heavy in my hand.

If I took the key would he forgive me? Would it be worth it?

But then he stirred, opened molten eyes, reached for me. I lay the scissors down, climbed onto the bed and straddled him.

Another day would be soon enough to decide.


 



This week's list of 48 stories at Mad Utopia

46 comments:

Chris Chartrand said...

Yeah, I'm hooked. Is this part of a larger work and if not why not? This is good, real good. The nipple in the scar works exceptionally well.
~chris

Karen from Mentor said...

Whew!
Big sigh....laughing...much nicer than stunned silence on the other end of the blogosphere.

I love these characters. So far it's a stand alone piece, but Simon especially begs for fleshing out....

Thanks so much for weighing in Chris. Glad you liked it.

lindacassidylewis said...

Arrgghh! Now I'll be wondering all day who these people are, what's their backstory, and what the heck does that key open!

So I guess that means ... GOOD JOB!!!

Laura Eno said...

I also want a larger story! Where'd he get all the bullet wounds? What does the key open? Will she eventually use the scissors elsewhere? :)

Karen from Mentor said...

Yikes and ewwwwww Laura...laughing...no she LIKES him...don't think the scissors will be used for anything gruesome...although after Remembered Kisses I can kind of understand why you'd ask.

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh good Linda then you'll have something to occupy your mind while you force yourself to clean the house today.

If you want I'll work on a more detailed description of Simon....and I can tell you it starts with the word "lean" and ends with the word "yummy"...lol

Marisa Birns said...

Well, damn! What a good story!

Yes, Simon has a very interesting history what with all the scarring and devotion to that key.

I, too, gasped when you..I mean she.. brought out the scissors.

Maybe next time, you'll tell us what the key opens. :)

Kudos.

Karen from Mentor said...

I'd have to figure it out first Marisa. :0)

But I'm thinking maybe it opens a box with a treasure in it...possibly a photo of his first tricycle..... or is that too rosebud?

You guys are certainly a bloodthirsty lot....but again...laughing.....past history....maybe if I had slotted the story into the "romance" category on Jon's list...but I just couldn't quite pull that particular trigger...
thanks for stopping in. :0)

Cat Connor said...

Did I say Awesomeness already? I think I did!

J. M. Strother said...

Oh, you tease. You introduce us to two very interesting chacters, but leave all the questions unanswered. Nicely written.

I want to yell at her, "Don't do it!" I'm sure nothing good would come of her getting that key. Pandorra, as I recall, was also a very curious person.
~jon

Karen from Mentor said...

This is a hint fiction flast fiction Jon....I think it just might catch on... :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

"Awesomeness"
I think you might have said that in your tweet Ms. Connor.

Thank you for taking the time for both the tweet and the compliment...... especially today while you're getting ready to greet all of your guests [but unfortunately not the prime minister..that old stick in the mud!] at your book launch party.
You're such a luv.
Hugs Cat!
Karen :0)

Michael Solender said...

Hot! Totally Hot. I dig this one a lot.

Karen from Mentor said...

LOL Michael are you channeling Dr. Suess?
[and thank you]

estrella05azul said...

Hmmm... well I don't know why you were so worried about it, it's an amazing story and you certainly made me (too) very curious about that key, and Simon in general.

PS: interesting how alike our thoughts were for today's #fridayflash ;)

Karen from Mentor said...

I wasn't worried about the quality of the writing or the strength of the story Estrella, I was a bit worried about how my regulars would react to the second line....lol...now I know.

You guys are great.
Thanks for the support.
Karen :0)

dan powell said...

Great piece Karen. The R rating stuff fits the characters and the story. Love the idea of the key. Better left letting the reader decide what it is for, perhaps?

Deanna Schrayer said...

I'm with the gang Karen - DO tell us more. We have got to know where those bullet holes came from, the scars, all of it.
And what does that key unlock?
Great work!

shannon esposito said...

Well, she seems so smitten...he could just tell her it's the key to her heart or something equally squishy and I bet she would let it drop. lol, or maybe not :-) I think you've invented tease flash!

Amy J Taylor said...

Hell yes, tell us more! (I think I quite fancy Simon!) LOL!

Mark Kerstetter said...

And if she took the key, what would she do - start sticking it into every lock in sight? (Don't answer everybody's questions right away. Make them beg for it.)

AstonWest said...

Fun little story...now what were you all worried about again? ;-)

Alan said...

Great opening paragraph!

~Tim said...

LOL, Can't a man have ANY secrets?

Deb said...

Fantastic! I'm gripped. I want more story.

Cascade Lily said...

See, we loved it. I am still unsure whether this is really R-rated or just MA :D :D :D

Excellent flash! It was a flash flash. I am so glad to see you leaving lots open and making the reader work it. Phew. Feeling a bit hot and steamy after all that soapy shower steaminess (yes, alliteration is my friend!)

Lauren C said...

Ooh. The instant the key-belonging-to-mysterious-man showed up, I thought of the Bluebeard fairytale. Do you know it? Basically: A many-times-widowed man remarries. The man has a key. There is a locked room in the house. His new wife is very curious. He tells his wife never to try and open the door. The man goes away on a trip. The wife takes the key and opens the door. [SCARY THINGS] She replaces the key, but it keeps leaking blood. Man returns, knows what she's done. [DISASTER (sort of)]

So, yeah... like everyone else, I want to know what happens next!

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

MORE PLEASE!
What is it about men with scars...?!

Chance said...

Mmmm intriguing.

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Mazz... Chance may have answered your question.
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

I never read that story Lauren, but it just begs the question....why do people open doors that they shouldn't?????

It's like those people in monster movies that GO DOWN THE STINKING STAIRS after they find that the power has been cut....SHEESH!

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Cascade Lily....just returning the living vicariously favor m'dear.....
mwahahahaha...

Karen from Mentor said...

@Alan...why does the first paragraph being your favorite not surprise me? :0)

@Deb...I'll work on it...keep checking back. :0)

@Tim...I think with all those scars he'd have LOTS of secrets.

Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Shannon and Amy....I think I'm a bit smitten with Simon too....
But I just can't seem to see him saying "key to my heart"...lol .... and I LOVE the term "tease flash" ...I called it hint fast flash...but I like tease flash better
Thanks for stopping in guys!
Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Aston...laughing....I thought the flashers would be fine and enjoy it...I was worried about my regulars....so far only one feedback of someone who said that they read the first two lines, shut the door and ran away....lol

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Mark "start sticking it in every lock in sight?"...no, I think she'd probably go about a careful recreation of his life all the way back to childhood until she found what it opened...hey...I've got an idea...
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Dan and Deanna, I LOVE that you were back to back in the comment thread showing opposite ends of the spectrum. One wanting more, one enjoying the not knowing.
That's what's so cool about fiction...you can do whatever you want with the characters as long as it rings true with the reader and either answers their questions or leaves them wanting more.
I think in this case Simon NEEDS to be mysterious to be interesting.
If he turned out to be a greengrocer who liked to play darts with his drunk friends on the weekend and that's how he got all the scars he wouldn't be nearly as interesting...

Karen from Mentor said...

Since I don't tweet, many thanks to Jon, Estrella, Cat, Fery, Michael and Cascade Lily for tweeting my link!!

estrella05azul said...

Oh, I also though of the Bluebeard story Lauren mentioned while I was reading :)
And Karen, I think it's like the saying: Curiosity killed the cat :P (oh, guess what I found when I opened my halfway closed closet door?)
And you're very welcome for the tweets, it's our pleasure!

AstonWest said...

But did that lone commenter actually say what they were doing behind that shut door? Hmmmm... :-P

Karen from Mentor said...

Yes Aston she said she was being embarrased and hiding...
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Estrella I've firmly clamped my imagination shut on what you found in your closet.
:0)

judy said...

Wow, I'm so late! Sorry! I've been locked up in nano hell. Great, excellent, awesome story, and okay, yes, it's hot. I'll go a different way because I'm like that.

I love this: "I love those moments. He's so naked then, so vulnerable. I love to trace the scars and nicks that map the history of Simon's past on his skin."

That's really intimate and lovely - in the midst of erotic and thrilling. Pretty damned talented there, girlfriend! Poetry and intrigue!

Karen from Mentor said...

Awww Judy,
You say the nicest things. Personally I like intimacy with my erotic thrills...it makes it a much more spiritual experience.
[tmi?]....laughing
:0)

Eric J. Krause said...

Mixing sex with a mystery is a great way to hook readers. Worked for me! Great story, and I'd love to hear more about what that key is for.

Karen from Mentor said...

....There was sex in the story?

[grins at you]

thanks for stopping in Eric.
Karen :0)