The Key [rated R] -- flash fiction

I just don't get Simon's problem.

If I know him well enough to let him stick his tongue in my pussy why don't I also know him well enough to know what the damn key he wears around his neck is for?

And he never takes it off.

Not even when we shower.

It's just always there, on that pitiful piece of string, dangling on his hard chest just between his nipples. And since we're the same height when we wrap ourselves around each other face to face it dangles between mine. When we stand together in the shower slowly soaping one another I can reach everywhere that there is to be reached without losing mouth to mouth and nipple to nipple contact.

I love those moments. He's so naked then, so vulnerable. I love to trace the scars and nicks that map the history of Simon's past on his skin. All the little gashes, the bullet holes, the knife wounds. He has that one gouge on the flesh of his pecs that healed to a tiny perfect circle.

The first time we were in the shower and I eased over and inserted my nipple into it he moaned and almost came right then. Afterwards he said that I was the most imaginative woman that he'd ever been with.

But even with all my imagination I just could not figure out what that damn key could be for.

Standing over him now while he slept in this broiling Florida motel, the fan just barely stirring the dead air, his naked torso sporting a tent under the thin sheet that slashed across his waist I wondered do I love him?

Does he love me?

The scissors weighed heavy in my hand.

If I took the key would he forgive me? Would it be worth it?

But then he stirred, opened molten eyes, reached for me. I lay the scissors down, climbed onto the bed and straddled him.

Another day would be soon enough to decide.

 

This week's list of 48 stories at Mad Utopia

Holy Cow…..getting down and dirty

During the month of November anybody participating in NaNo gets weekly pep talks from Chris Baty the creator and head cheerleader of NaNowrimo. Chris opened the pep talk that he sent out to hundreds of thousands of people today with the words "Holy cow."

Which made me laugh.

I use that expression all the time. I always have. But it also made me wonder if any devout Hindu's on the NaNo mailing list would be offended.

Why would I wonder that? Because it reminded me of something that happened to me last summer.

I was going out to my dumpster with my trash and as I walked up to it I couldn't believe how full it was.

I exclaimed "Holy cow!"

Then rounded the corner and came face to face with an Indian family that I know who live in the next building.

Well I must have blushed because the grandfather in the group said "Do not worry Karen, what you have said we have heard many times before. And therefore we are not offended."

And then his son Ron [yes Ron, don't ask me why] said "Jesus Christ that dumpster is full!"

[here comes the segue]

So speaking of hoping that people are not surprised or offended….laughing….tomorrow I'm going to post a piece of flash fiction that I'll tell you right now is a bit of a departure for the blog. I'm going to rate it R right in the title…..but I just wanted to let you guys know ahead of time that it contains a bit of strong language and some erotic imagery.

It's not really graphic [well not excessively so] but I still think that some of you will be surprised that it came from my head. I get people all the time who come up to me and say things about the blog like you know I really love your funny stuff, and the gruesome stories were a surprise, but what I really want to talk to you about are the sensual sentences…..

So just remember that like Shrek or an onion, I have many layers and tomorrow I'll be exposing a layer that some of you may not have seen before. Well those of you who haven't read An Organized Life.

And no Rachel, the piece tomorrow is not nearly as graphic as the pages that I stapled together in An Organized Life and told you that you could read them when A)you were 35 or B)I was dead, so I think you'll be fine…… oh man….laughing…wonder which way this will sway the crowd?

I’m Popeye……I mean pop art

Estrella made me into pop art a couple of months ago and I've been waiting for a good time to share it. Today's the day. November 4^th. Today is the 40^th anniversary of Sesame Street, Abraham Lincoln's wedding anniversary and my birthday.

Yep. The day the earth was given Karen. Woo hoo. [please hold your applause till the end]

So I thought I'd do something a little different today. Since November is also the month that I'm doing NaNo [every time I type that I hear Robin Williams in my head as Mork saying nanu nanu] I thought I'd warn you that the month of November may [ok will] break a lot of the rules I set forth in My Blog Promise To You. As in, hey, I've been writing my novel and have no post…….I'll post a link to my favorite commercial on YouTube. Or hey, I've been writing my novel and have no post…..I'll talk about some of the funny things that people have said to me via email recently.

[but only with permission…..nobody panic….]

[hint …….this is one of those where I talk about funny things that have been said to me via email recently]

Estrella recently posted a Halloween story for Friday flash. It was a gruesome story about a guy who kills his father and makes his head into a jack-o-lantern. [really] Out of her sweet head a story like that emerged. [I was so proud]

A couple of days later she sent me an email with photos of really cool jack-o-lanterns that she and her fiancé had carved. Since they don't celebrate Halloween in Romania, they had a hard time finding pumpkins, and when they did find them Estrella's fiancé was concerned that Estrella wouldn't be able to figure out how to carve it.

Her answer: "But I was quick to reply: I just described in detail how to carve a jack-o'-lantern out of a person's head, I should be able to carve a pumpkin."

Hee hee hee.

So minions…..there you go. Apparently if you can imagine it….it can be done.

And speaking of imagining……

I just blew out my candles and my birthday wish is that everybody out there imagines me having a great day today…..and I plan to……..with a little help from some friends, pumpkin pie and lots and lots of whipped cream.

Ten Questions Tuesday with Aaron Bonk

Today Miscellaneous Yammering is thrilled to present the lovely and talented, limber, lithe, artistic, athletic, impossibly graceful and extremely sexy Aaron Bonk. Aaron is a performance artist and an object manipulation specialist…… in other words…..he juggles stuff….often while he's on stilts and what he's juggling is on fire or actively trying to slice him limb from limb. And did I mention he's funny? He's pretty funny…. [no pressure there Aaron] so with only a little further ado, we'll get started with today's installment of Ten Questions Tuesday…..[here comes the further ado]

K: Ok boys, light the fuse…….kids…… don't try this at home …… Aaron's a professional………

Minions, please protect your ears and hold your applause until today's guest is shot out of a cannon and safely deposited into his interview chair and then and only then, help me to welcome Aaron to the stage  by stomping, whistling and clapping [or just throw money].

K: Wow Aaron, nice job on sticking the landing…. thanks for coming in to see me today. I didn't know you were going to show up in costume. What do you call that character?

A: I call him"El Bonko!"  He's a lot of fun. 

K: Ah, and well, I must say, the transparent and mesh parts of your costume really give me some….how shall we say…insights into your talents.

A: Well, you know what they say……Merchandising, merchandising, merchandising...

K: Followed up by "location, location, location"….and I think you nailed that part pretty well too. Oh my, I think you're still smoking a little from the cannon….oh no wait, that's me… can I get a little water here, please?

K: Whew, ok, let's dive right into

TEN QUESTIONS FOR AARON BONK

K:  Aaron, you have a pretty dramatic hair cut, matched with dramatic facial hair.  When you're walking around in street clothes do people ever come up to you and ask you if you're a magician or musician or something?

A:  No.  Never out of the blue like that.  With a triangle Mohawk and matching soul patch, I think people just assume I'm an artist, punk or general freak.  It has helped greatly with recognition, though.  If they've seen my show, then they know it's me when they see me somewhere else.

K: Anybody who knows me knows that my three goals in life are to learn to juggle, play the guitar and levitate. You've got two of those down, are you working on the levitation?

A: I can levitate birds, but nobody cares.  That's actually a Stephen Wright joke.  Levitation doesn't really interest me much, though.  I want to FLY.  Douglas Adams said that to fly, you just have to throw yourself at the ground and manage to miss.  Unfortunately, I have really good aim.

K: You move around the country so that you don't have to stilt walk on ice and snow in Ohio during the winter.  Do you have a favorite place to perform?

A: Cleveland is my home and it is always so nice to go away for a while then come back and show people the performer I became while I was gone.  I've always received a great deal of support from my family, friends and the people of this city.  So, I love to go learn and grow and come back home and say, "hey, look what I brought you."  That's what the show at the Bridge Project was like--many people in that audience had seen my show before, but they had never seen THAT show.  Other than that, I love any warm place with sunshine and a beach.

K: Speaking of beaches, any plans to try juggling while surfing? Or would that be even beyond the skills of "El Bonko?"

A: I'd love to.  Actually, the 3 things I'd like to do in life are pilot a helicopter, learn stunt driving and learn to surf. Once I get the surfing down, I'm sure that the juggling will naturally follow.

K: The other night when I saw you use a bullwhip to cut a rose head away from the stem while a volunteer was holding it IN HIS MOUTH….that guy was so calm, and he kept mugging for the audience when you weren't looking, was he a ringer?

A: Nope.  He was just awesome.  I never use audience plants.  When I put that rose in the unsuspecting guy's mouth and then crack that whip for the first time and they find out what's about to happen--the genuine reaction is priceless.  And everyone reacts differently.  I love the beauty in that truth and the comedic potential is huge.

K: You use a lot of sharp things in your act. Have you ever been hurt on stage?

A: I've taken countless minor cuts and burns while performing, but once, while performing at a nightclub for a fetish party, I sliced the tip of my thumb off.  It didn't hurt right away because of the adrenaline, but the thumb has a major artery in it, so it started bleeding like crazy. I had about 5 minutes left in my act, so every now and again I would just turn around and nonchalantly suck all the blood off my thumb and continued going.  It was pretty dark and I played it off, so I don't think most people knew, but I bled all over the stage and my partner. Kind of worked with the event, though.

K: Have you ever gotten to a venue and found out that it was too short to stilt walk in?

A: Not quite.  I've found that there were really difficult spots to get through--like a long, low hallway between where I change into the stilt outfit and where I perform. But I usually discuss ceiling height before I get there.  If I need to I bring smaller stilts.

K: Your super power seems to be whirling objects in interesting ways.  When you become a professional juggler is there a ceremony where you stand around in a circle at midnight in hoods and the "elders" make you swear on your props [I know…but  balls was too obvious] to use your powers for good, not evil?

A: Absolutely not.  If I were prohibited from using my powers for evil, I don't think I would be in this business. Wink wink, nudge nudge...

K: If your life were a comic book what would it be called?

A: Probably "the Juggler."  At least, that would be my superhero nickname.  The Juggler would be like a batman-kind of hero--no supernatural ability, just really badass skills and slick gadgets.  All the different juggling props would do different things--exploding clubs and whatnot.  I used to pretend this a lot as a kid.  Okay, it was last week.

And finally,

K: You say you are determined to teach me to juggle……I'd be willing to try a little hands on experimenting. So…..can I handle your balls? [I know! But I refrained the first time]

A: Sure, but you've no idea where they've been. 

K: Aaron thanks so much for coming in to play with me today. To show my appreciation I'd like to present you with this custom three inch wide orange and neon green glow in the dark Miscellaneous Yammering garter to use during your cruise ship voyages. I sewed a little pocket into it that's big enough for room key cards, money orders or deeds to any old  Spanish villa that a lady might have lying around.  Wear it in good health and hopefully it will garner a lot of currency for you.  I'll enjoy picturing you wearing it when you bare your well muscled thigh on stage like you did the other night.

[ok, you guys are going to have to give me a minute]

 

 

Aaron performs all around the country. Here's a link to a few videos at his website of him performing.

 

I’m on the NaNo train, and it just left the station

Stephen King said, "I don't think my books would've been as successful as they are if the readers didn't think they were in the hands of a true crazy person. When I start a story, I don't know where it's going."

I know some people started writing at midnight last night since that was the official beginning of NaNo, or National Novel Writing Month. But I didn't start until this morning and I really didn't have any idea of where my story was going until I started writing. So in some ways my book is in the hands of a crazy person, but I have faith that my characters are sane and will keep the story moving in the direction that makes sense to them.

If you're not familiar with the NaNo concept you can go take a look here at the website, but basically the whole idea is to spend thirty days producing a novel that is at least 50,000 words.

You can have ideas for your book ahead of time, but you're not supposed to write word one until November 1 and you have to have 50,000 words by November 30 to finish. And no you can't just type one word over and over.

If you could, I might choose the word Mississippi, just because it's fun to type. [and in my head there's that sing song voice that recites M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-humpback-humpback-I. …but that might just be me]

So, this morning I got up, stretched, did some yoga, had breakfast and started writing a new book.

I've been thinking about the story for a couple of weeks. But today was the first time I met my characters.

I like them. And I have figured out their motivations. I know where the story is going and I wrote the first three hundred and ninety nine words without having to change anything.

So, I was stoked. I wanted to tell someone about how excited I was. My plants listened intently and were green with envy. The friend that I woke up at 9:00am on a Sunday morning listened groggily and then asked if I'd call back and tell him everything again in a few hours.

THEN, I had the great idea of updating my word count to my NaNo profile. To show all of my writing buddies that so far this morning I produced 399 words. Which I think is the brilliance of the whole concept of writing with a bunch of other people all over the world. You have someone to tell about your accomplishments and someone to share any and all angst you're feeling.

I have a bunch of writing buddies but only two had posted word counts this morning by 9:00am. Of the two that had posted ganymeder's word count was 2,514 and inkydigits was 967 so far today.

To hit the goal of 50,000 you need to produce around 1,700 words a day.

So back to work for me. I'd like to get a cushion today if at all possible since this upcoming week will be a busy one.

I'll update my NaNo progress periodically but the blog won't suddenly be about NaNo.

As a matter of fact this Tuesday features a new Ten Questions Tuesday, and Wednesday is my birthday so I'll be posting something interesting for that and as always there will be a Things I've seen Thursdays.

So don't fret, I've been gathering things to talk about and just yesterday I saw a lady's wig stolen by a squirrel for nesting material……[not really just finding out if you're actually paying attention]

Thanks for listening to me talk about jumping head first into writing a novel in a month. And any and all encouragement is welcome. My plants are fun to talk to, but they really don't say much.

So stay tuned, keep your fingers crossed for me and if you want to see excerpts in small chunks let me know, I might be able to post some of the less smutty parts.