Friday, April 9, 2010

Alien in my tea, parts one and two -flash fiction


Otherworldly Company

This morning there was an alien in my tea. I was startled to say the least. He looked friendly, so I didn't have the heart to pour him down the drain. I scooped him gently out with a spoon, placed him into a glass bowl so he could see the world around him and left him to his own devices.

My toaster objected.

He said, "None of those in here, missy, you'll be sorry."

But I told him to mind his own business. I rule my kitchen.

Brebax 679 told me so.


Photo copyright Karen Schindler



Stiletto Regret

Aliens are cute. There's just something about the big eyes. Like Bambi. But unlike Bambi they'll disembowel you in a wink.

Aliens are cute. Right up until the second they're not. Then you're not…. well, you, anymore. You're just a mass of wriggling entrails, spilling onto the floor wondering (a) why the hell you wore heels during a chase scene, and (b) why the hell you didn't think to plunge three inches of pointy stiletto into one of those big cute alien eyes.

38 comments:

Laura Eno said...

Karen, that's the whole PURPOSE of wearing three inch heels - you know that!

What I really want to know is why the toaster objected...

Marisa Birns said...

Actually the alien in your tea looks sort of like a diamond ring.

Wait! Was this someone's creative way of asking for your hand?

An alien someone?

I will not wear stilettos to the wedding. Especially if it's held out on a vast lawn.

Last time I did that, it took me hours to walk back to the car.

Sulci Collective said...

I love those tales where people claim they've found an image of the Virgin Mary in their toast, or Chairman Mao in a winestain on the carpet!

It does look like a ring. But I can't speculate like Marisa!

marc nash

Carrie said...

LOL this is cute and the photo just seals the deal. ^_^

Sam said...

Yeah, what's your toaster got against the alien, he's cute!

I love it when stuff like this happens - always makes for just the best writing prompts. :)

Michael Solender said...

very cool

mazzz in Leeds said...

he's quite a charmingly retro sort of alien, too, love it!

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh I'm so glad that you and Sam can see him too Maria. After Marisa said he looked like a diamond ring...I thought...oh oh...maybe it's just me....

[big, big grin]

Karen from Mentor said...

My toaster always was kind of crusty Laura.

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Carrie and Michael and Marc...thanks for visiting my little flight of fancy.
:0)

Cathy Olliffe said...

I totally see the alien.. what a happy smile he has on his face... and such expessive big eyes. I looked hard and didn't see the ring, though... are you guys making that up?
Karen, your matching stories were just as cute as the alien himself.

Laurita said...

That alien is cute. He looks so happy. But yes, you do have a point. Stilettos are a poor choice when you are scheduled for a quick escape.

peggy said...

No one else is wondering what the toaster knows that the rest don't?! I always trust my toaster.

As for the heels, sheesh.
These cracked me up. So much fun in such a small space!

Kris said...

Aliens are cute until they disembowel you?!?

How ironic.. People say that same thing about my kids all the time.

Aislinn O'Connor said...

Clearly a most perceptive toaster - & a stiletto heel's my weapon of choice in an emergency!

Deanna said...

So glad you shared the photo Karen - I've been waiting anxiously ever since you mentioned the alien in your tea. :)
Fun, fun, fun

John Wiswell said...

That first one is so darned cute.

Emma Newman said...

Oh my God!It *is* an alien! It ooks like it's in that cure 1950's pop art style, like he could be the second son in those iconic images of an American family. Love it. And your toaster too :)

Valerie said...

I'm not a wearer of stilettos but I bet you could stomp one just as well in flats. Fun stuff.

gmotley said...

Oh, wow, it IS an alien. They look so cute to make you let your guard down, and then...

Always trust your toaster.

I loved this. :)

Janel said...

I guess I'm out of luck if I encounter an alien. I don't own any stilettos. :)

Olivia Tejeda said...

Great stories, but I think the tea creature looks like both an alien with a funky hair-do AND a diamond ring. I'm sure the Virgin Mary is in there somewhere, too!

ganymeder said...

That was awesome. I loved it. So weird, yet straightforward. The toaster reminded me of an episode of Red Dwarf too. Great minds think alike! (not mine, I mean the writers of Red Dwarf - lol)

Great story!

adam J. Keeper said...

I assume it was green tea... having read this I have become aware that my recent inability to make a decent brew is down to extraterrestrial intervention.

lilymulholland.com said...

What was in your tea, Karen?

Karen from Mentor said...

It wasn't "funny" tea lily, if that's what you mean... although, come to think of it the brownies I had the night before did taste rather herbal.

Karen from Mentor said...

No Adam, it was a nice black pekoe tea. But sometimes my mug does levitate while I'm brewing my morning cuppa.

But I usually attribute that to the rip in the space time continuum that's in my middle cupboard.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks to all of you I now know (A)to always trust my toaster, and (B)to use whatever footwear is at hand to defend myself.

You guys rock! Thanks so much for taking the time to come in and read and comment.

:0) <----great big smile

Iapetus999 said...

I want an alien. That neighborhood dog keeps barking...and so does the dishwasher...

Nice!

~Tim said...

Wow, imagine if you drank the tea while he was still in there. I keep thinking about the scene from the movie Alien when the creature bursts out of that guy's chest. So very glad that didn't happen to you.

[You want me to have a "talk" with your toaster?]

Anne Tyler Lord said...

Oh my goodness, that is so clever. You are very observant to catch this alien. I just showed your pic to my kids and they thought it was definitely an alien. Your twisted humor is so fun!!

I also like those food characters. I still remember the David Letterman show where an older lady showed Dave her potato chip collection that included Jesus and famous presidents and celebrities. When the lady turned to the audience, Dave took out some chips from behind his chair and chomped on them, the look on the lady's face was priceless - total shock and awe fearing he had eaten one of her chips.

G.P. Ching said...

Oh dear. I may print off the last sentence of this piece (attributed to you of course) and tape it to the side of my computer screen, just so I can laugh hysterically every time I read it. Awesome, just awesome.

Tomara Armstrong said...

It's time for a NEW toaster.

Aliens are cute :-)
~2

Al Bruno III said...

strange and cute. I like it!

Lou Freshwater said...

That is one cute alien. Now I'm off to protect myself from the horrible fate described above. ;-)

estrella05azul said...

Cute alien photo, interesting where inspiration comes from, right? :)
I loved part two!!!

windspiritgirl said...

I loved these!! Hmm...I'm with Marisa, I kinda thought the alien looked like a diamond ring when I first saw it. Now I wouldn't mind finding one of those in my tea... ;)

Karen from Mentor said...

The alien? Or a diamond?

Cause the alien is still in the bowl. He has grown a bit, but I'm not worried. You can babysit if you want.