Wednesday, May 12, 2010

For the love of older men

I just had a friend who jokingly said to me that I should stop falling in love with men in their seventies because they just up and die on me. Although that has been true-- in three recent cases as of today-- I just can't help myself sometimes. When you meet someone who has a quick mind, a love of life, a passion for something that you both love-- in my case two were writers, and one was just as nuts about nature as I am-- it's hard not to give your heart away. Each was married, so it wasn't that kind of love, but each belonged to me in a special way all of my own.

Each is missed. Sorely missed. And will not be forgotten.

I won't stop giving my heart. Life is for living and if you can add loving into the mix?

Well isn't that just the best thing ever?


Cathy Olliffe said...

Yes Karen, it is absolutely the best thing ever.
Sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard losing good friends.
But what a simple, eloquent message you have penned this morning.
All I can say is your late friends were just plain fortunate to know you.
*hugs* yourself.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Cathy. Can always count on a kind word and a hug from you. He wasn't a splashy sort of man, so I'm keeping it low key, but there's a lot of heartache happening for a lot of people today.

Alan W. Davidson said...

A lovely, heartfelt tribute, Karen.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Alan,
Seems to be a week of loss. I'm sorry to hear of your friend's passing as well.
hugs to you my friend.

Marisa Birns said...

Such an ache to the heart when one loses beloved friends.

So sorry your's is hurting right now.

And, yes, despite the potential for so much pain, that is the best equation ever, Karen.

*a long hug*

Laura Eno said...

I'm sorry to hear about Tom. You just keep on loving whomever (or whatever) you want. It's what makes you special.


Laurita said...

This is a lovely little tribute, Karen. I'm sorry for your loss. And you're right - it is the best thing ever.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you Laurita. And yes it is.

Karen from Mentor said...

Marisa, I know so many people who are hesitant to give their heart.
I can almost understand that reluctance while I'm having a day of what I'm sure will be many days of this ache, the protecting oneself from pain that might one day come, but once enough time passes, I'll be greedy to fill the hole in my heart up with another passionate caring loving person.

You don't replace them. They're right there in your heart helping you welcome more people in.

Thank you for the hug and your lovely words my beautiful friend.

*hugs Marisa*

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you Laura. "Whoever or whatever" made me smile, because as you know I love a lot of people and things that are a bit out there.

Tom was out there. He was quirky and funny and weird and damn fast on his feet. He was also kind and thoughtful and I never knew him to say anything in anger.

A gentleman in every sense of the word.

*hugs Laura*


Gracie said...

Your love of life as a whole comes through in every word you write. Sorry for your loss, dear girl. I'm sure you brought as much joy to him as he brought to you.

Your heart is very big and we are all lucky to know you.


ganymeder said...

What a beautiful sentiment. No one ever knows how much time they have anyway. You can give your heart away to someone in the prime of life that gets hit by a bus the next day,but the point is to be free enough to live in the present and accept the risk as well as the rewards.

Eloquently put.

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh speaking of big hearts Gracie. You've been a welcome breath of fresh air for me since the first word out of your mouth.

Thank you for your kind words.

I've had a lot of loss in my life, but if I hadn't had the love first, it wouldn't have been a loss.


Karen from Mentor said...

Yes ganymeder, life is to be cherished and lived in the now. We take so much for granted, and that sometimes extends to the people nearest and dearest to us. Thinking they'll always be there, that there's time tomorrow to tell them we care.

Thank you for your lovely words Cathy.

KjM said...

"Well isn't that just the best thing ever?"

Simply, yes Karen.

There is nothing that cannot be improved by the addition of loving, connection, relationship to the mix. We are relational beings. To behave otherwise is to deny our very nature. It is what makes us truly human.

Enjoy, nay revel in, your humanity - understanding that the joy may not be unalloyed.

Thinking of you.

Karen from Mentor said...

Leave it to your poetic Irishman's soul to bring reveling in our humanity into play here Kevin.

It's funny that you would use the phrase "thinking of you" because I've been trying to think of what to say to you ever since you left that beautiful comment on my Mother's day posting.

I finally decided that it didn't need a response from me. It's a gorgeous way to end that comment thread and I thank you for all the lovely things you said.

Sometimes just knowing that people are thinking about you is comforting.
Thank you sir, it's most appreciated.

estrella05azul said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Karen! *hugs*

I admire your courage to give your heart away to those close to you.
But the thing is... neither of us know when our time is up, we never know which could be our last moment together.
So based on this belief, even though your friend was only joking, I couldn't agree less :)

You're right! Adding loving into the mix is the best thing that could happen to us even if we're far away or next door neighbors.

Huge loving hugs!

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you Estrella for your sweet thoughts and the hugs. You're always a bright spot in my day no matter what.
*hugs honey*

Jodi MacArthur said...

Catchy title you have here, missy.;D
The power of attraction always amazes me. When it's there its there - zap. How wonderful that you were able to have relationships with these people, and I'm so sorry to hear of their passing away. Losing people we love hurts and there is no way to remedy that.

Love that you have such a big heart and how you open it wide to love. (I just read about your muse plant -- even the plants love you!)

Wonderful post, Karen.

Cat Connor said...

Love makes the world go around. You can't withhold it just because people die. (and it doesn't matter how old a person is... death is unconcerned by age.)

Hugs to you!!
To be given in person next March.

Karen from Mentor said...

"Death is unconcerned by age..."

Well isn't that just a lovely turn of phrase?

Thank you Cat.
*hugs Cat*

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you Jodi. Babies, old people, plants and puppies love me unconditionally and instantly. Men often follow me around like I have pepperoni in my pockets, and women are a joy to love and a constant source of inspiration to me. So I've got a lot of bases covered here on this blue planet of yours.

*hugs Jodi*

judy said...

Very late to this one, but I really love this post, especially this wonderful thought: each belonged to me in a special way all of my own.

It makes me smile that we all belong to each other in ways we may never even know.

That's love. Hugs to you.