Friday, August 6, 2010
Breathe -----Flash Fiction
Breathe. That was the first word James ever said to me. Just like that. Nothing else. Then he was just a solid wall of comfort sitting beside me while I sobbed.
That was James in a nutshell, loving, giving, open hearted. One day that heart simply stopped. Mid stride on the golf course. He fell hard enough to make a dent in the wet turf.
I buried his ashes in the park near the creek. Just lifted some velvety moss and watered him in.
There's no marker, it's technically an illegal grave. I didn't ask permission.
He walked that path almost every day for forty years, letting it feed his soul. I can't imagine anyone begrudging him lying underneath it now and returning the favor.
The dent where he fell eventually filled itself in. Time marching on.
Time marches to a different drummer for me.
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26 comments:
Awwww.... so lovely, Karen.
Beautiful flash. Just beautiful.
Sad and beautiful. Thank you.
Awww, Karen, so beautiful are you words. To convey so much feeling in so few words. You are awesome!
Beautiful, Karen, just beautiful. I know this is labelled as fiction (it is fiction, right?), but I'd be honoured to have an obituary even half as good as this. Bravo!
Beautiful!
Karen;
I want to tell you how much this touched me. My hubby & I used to go to a popular beach here in FL and when he passed, I had a mini-wake for him there and we scattered some of his ashes (carefully, secretly because it's illegal to do that, just like in your story) and I know he would have wanted that. When I read your story, it brought all that back to me. You've tugged my heart strings with this. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.
Wonderful touching piece.
-Tim
The Golf Club are sure to revoke his membership for spoiling the greens...
I think she's very forgiving and understanding of all the time he spent away from her chasing after a tiny packed cork ball. Me I wouldn't be so understanding!
Marc Nash
Beautiful story and quite heart rending. Stings just a little bit more because I am a james.
This is beautiful. I would have done the same thing with the ashes.
You must be channeling a hundred different people...your writing varies in so many ways. I never know if I'll laugh or cry when I get here.
I love how this story starts. It really sets the tone for the rest, and it really makes me want to know more about these people. Beautifully written.
You pack an world of ache, of love, of loss into one single line.
"Time marches to a different drummer for me."
How in the name of all that's good and glorious do you do that?
This is just(!) a stunning piece.
Gorgeous, my dear. Lovely and rich. I'd have done the same thing.
It's quite a talent you have, fueled by that giant heart of yours.
Love this one to pieces.
That's beautiful, Karen. Simply beautiful.
Thanks so much everybody. Not going to say a lot about this piece.
I'm so glad that it struck a chord.
Thank you all for taking the time to comment.
*Big Hugs*
Very good, Karen. Excellent piece here. Kevin's right - stunning.
~jon
Hits me in the heart, in all the sad and beautiful ways. Thank you. Peace...
Remember to breathe, Karen.
A very beautiful, well written story. It tugs on the heart strings.
Just a beautiful piece, Karen. Evocative and poignant.
Adam B @revhappiness
The way it should be.
Awwwww
Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time, Karen. Lovely!
Beautiful and sad at the same time. So much said in so few words. Wonderfully written.
So touching and beautiful, Karen! Wish I'll have someone think of me this way when I die...
Perfectly written and conceived. You succeed in encapsulating a relationship and it feels complete. Beautifully written from beginning to end.
This is simply gorgeous Karen. So much in so few words. Bravo!
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