Friday, August 6, 2010

Breathe -----Flash Fiction



Breathe. That was the first word James ever said to me. Just like that. Nothing else. Then he was just a solid wall of comfort sitting beside me while I sobbed.

That was James in a nutshell, loving, giving, open hearted. One day that heart simply stopped. Mid stride on the golf course. He fell hard enough to make a dent in the wet turf.

I buried his ashes in the park near the creek. Just lifted some velvety moss and watered him in.

There's no marker, it's technically an illegal grave. I didn't ask permission.

He walked that path almost every day for forty years, letting it feed his soul. I can't imagine anyone begrudging him lying underneath it now and returning the favor.

The dent where he fell eventually filled itself in. Time marching on.

Time marches to a different drummer for me.


26 comments:

Cathy Olliffe said...

Awwww.... so lovely, Karen.
Beautiful flash. Just beautiful.

ganymeder said...

Sad and beautiful. Thank you.

Cynthia Schuerr said...

Awww, Karen, so beautiful are you words. To convey so much feeling in so few words. You are awesome!

Sam said...

Beautiful, Karen, just beautiful. I know this is labelled as fiction (it is fiction, right?), but I'd be honoured to have an obituary even half as good as this. Bravo!

Mary said...

Beautiful!

Maria A. Kelly said...

Karen;
I want to tell you how much this touched me. My hubby & I used to go to a popular beach here in FL and when he passed, I had a mini-wake for him there and we scattered some of his ashes (carefully, secretly because it's illegal to do that, just like in your story) and I know he would have wanted that. When I read your story, it brought all that back to me. You've tugged my heart strings with this. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

Timothy P. Remp said...

Wonderful touching piece.

-Tim

Sulci Collective said...

The Golf Club are sure to revoke his membership for spoiling the greens...

I think she's very forgiving and understanding of all the time he spent away from her chasing after a tiny packed cork ball. Me I wouldn't be so understanding!

Marc Nash

The Four Part Land said...

Beautiful story and quite heart rending. Stings just a little bit more because I am a james.

Laura Eno said...

This is beautiful. I would have done the same thing with the ashes.

You must be channeling a hundred different people...your writing varies in so many ways. I never know if I'll laugh or cry when I get here.

Laurita said...

I love how this story starts. It really sets the tone for the rest, and it really makes me want to know more about these people. Beautifully written.

KjM said...

You pack an world of ache, of love, of loss into one single line.

"Time marches to a different drummer for me."

How in the name of all that's good and glorious do you do that?

This is just(!) a stunning piece.

Gracie said...

Gorgeous, my dear. Lovely and rich. I'd have done the same thing.

It's quite a talent you have, fueled by that giant heart of yours.

Love this one to pieces.

daniellelapaglia said...

That's beautiful, Karen. Simply beautiful.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks so much everybody. Not going to say a lot about this piece.

I'm so glad that it struck a chord.

Thank you all for taking the time to comment.

*Big Hugs*

J. M. Strother said...

Very good, Karen. Excellent piece here. Kevin's right - stunning.
~jon

Linda said...

Hits me in the heart, in all the sad and beautiful ways. Thank you. Peace...

John Wiswell said...

Remember to breathe, Karen.

Eric J. Krause said...

A very beautiful, well written story. It tugs on the heart strings.

afullnessinbrevity said...

Just a beautiful piece, Karen. Evocative and poignant.
Adam B @revhappiness

Lou Freshwater said...

The way it should be.

mazzz in Leeds said...

Awwwww
Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time, Karen. Lovely!

Rebecca Emin said...

Beautiful and sad at the same time. So much said in so few words. Wonderfully written.

estrella05azul said...

So touching and beautiful, Karen! Wish I'll have someone think of me this way when I die...

Rachel Blackbirdsong said...

Perfectly written and conceived. You succeed in encapsulating a relationship and it feels complete. Beautifully written from beginning to end.

Deanna Schrayer said...

This is simply gorgeous Karen. So much in so few words. Bravo!