June 12, 2009
Carla Roundtree,69, called 911 on Thursday of this week to report suspicious Alien activity.
Ms. Roundtree told Harlan Edwards, the chief of Medina police, that Aliens had come into her house and escaped even before she could get a photo of them.
"Me and Ricky was just sittin in the front room watching Jerry Springer when all of a sudden I got this chill, like a cat awalkin over my grave, so I ran in to check on the grandbabies."
Ricky is of course the much loved Ricky Archer, 53, local beer can sculpture artist and burping champion of three counties.
"Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather, I was just that surprised. I got in the bedroom and there weren't nothin there. No Aliens to be seen atall. But there was this funny tinny smell in the air and this blob of blue goop on the floor shaped like the top of a soft ice cream what comes out of one of them spigots they got over at the Dairy Queen" continued Ms. Roundtree.
"Well, I hollered for Ricky and he come arunnin, but afore he got to the bedroom the goop just disappeared up in a little puff of smoke and a sound like 'ting'.
That's when we noticed what they'd done."
At this point both Ricky and the Chief of Police had to steady Ms. Roundtree.
Ricky got her a glass of water so that she could gather herself together and continue with her story.
Several of Medina's finest, the chief, her common law husband and I waited with bated breath for her to finish the tale.
She drank the water, clutched the glass in one hand, clung to Ricky for dear life with the other and in a shaky voice she said,
"Not only had they changed the diapers on both of the babies, they had vacuumed and washed the windows.
And those windows are hard to clean; they stick somethin dreadful in the damp."
Reported by Karen Schindler of Miscellaneous Yammering 6/12/09