Friday, October 23, 2009

Remembered kisses -- flash fiction

She looked so innocent. But he knew that she had betrayed him. How? Don't ask. But still, those lips, those luscious, luscious lips. So soft, so firm, so kissable. He could never get by without them.

He gazed a final time at her, basking for a moment in the recollection of her warm sweet kisses, her loving promises. Then he said a last goodbye, his thumb gently stroking her lips as they parted.

He turned away secure in the knowledge that even though the relationship had ended her lips would always be his.

They would always be his to stroke, his to kiss.......his forever.... since they now lay lovingly nestled inside his warm but rather bloody jacket pocket.




The link to this week's 52 fridayflash stories at Mad Utopia

42 comments:

PJ said...

Somehow i don't think they'll look so kissable in a few days ... wow, Karen, I worry about you ;-)

Marisa Birns said...

OH!

He should have remembered this quote:
What lies lurk in kisses. ~Heinrich Heine

Your story: very macabre and very good.

I send you a, er, shake of the hand!

Kris said...

And just in time for Halloween too! Ewww!

estrella05azul said...

I'm with PJ on this one :)

But I love how well written this was, very good job! Hugs!

Laura Eno said...

Nicely done! How delightfully macabre. :)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ PJ and Marissa,
This was originally much shorter and part of a feature I was going to call Macabre Mondays...but I hadn't gotten around to launching it yet. I did worry how my regular readers would react to something this gruesome...lol.....I predict that Alan and Cat will love it...but everyone else? We'll see.

Thanks for the cryptic tweet PJ. It made me laugh.
And yes Marisa in this instance? Handshakes all round I think...
Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Speaking of regular readers...@ Kris and Estrella...thanks guys for not freaking out...lol...I know this was a departure...but don't worry, it's probably not a trend...over the weekend I'll go back to nice non bloodthirsty things...I promise.

Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Laura. Sometimes it's fun to dip a toe into the evil pool.

[then I go look at pictures of frogs and kittens to clear my brain]

Taliana said...

LOL!!! Niiiice! I really didn't see that one coming. Which, come to think of it, is probably a very good sign.

ganymeder said...

Nice! I mean, ew. I mean, Nicely done. It really creeped me out. Good work.

Linda Cassidy Lewis said...

This made me think of Jack the Ripper. It's nice that you get these evil thoughts out so they don't fester in your sweet little brain. :-)

theothersideofdeanna said...

Chills! Superbly written Karen!

Chris Chartrand said...

You brought me right back to high school. Thanks for the memories. Oh, I mean, ew. :)

Seriously, this was a creepy little tale, perfect for October.

~Chris

Karen from Mentor said...

LOL Chris,
Not even going to go there. I thought you were a sweet little romeo boy in high school.

Thanks Deanna. And thanks for stopping in.
Just FYI since you're new to the blog this week instead of pie I have cookies!!! Country Girl sent me some *FABULOUS* cookies. They're right there on the counter next to the toaster and the milk's in the fridge......I leave the door open 24/7...so help yourself ....but try to take only ONE mind you...she only sent me about four gazillion and so far I've only eaten three gazillion.....

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

My sweet little brain thanks you Linda. I'm a firm believer in pulling out the stopper and shaking out the evil thoughts periodically.....otherwise you go wackadoodle...

And that's not good for anybody.... laughing

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Taliana and Ganymeder thanks for stopping in guys. I'm glad that I got to delight and creep you out in seemingly equal measures.

And Taliana so nice to hear that the end surprised you....sometimes it's hard to lay enough clues so the story makes sense without telegraphing the end...glad it worked for you.

Karen :0)

leighbarlow said...

Great little story. In no way is this too gruesome. I particularly loved the pun in "… his thumb gently stroking her lips as they parted.”

Oh, and Macabre Mondays should be done. It has a certain ‘ring’ to it.

~Tim said...

You're deep-sixing Macabre Mondays? Say it ain't so!

Linda said...

ACK!!!! Reminds me a bit of that wonderful cannibal who preferred his body parts stewed with fava beans. Peace, Linda

livloveslit said...

Loved it! Creepy, creepy, but I loved it right up to the end.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Olivia and welcome to fridayflash!
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Linda....oohhh I never saw the movie cause... and this is going to sound funny...I don't like scary movies...lol...but I have of course seen that clip. yikes!

@Tim...not to worry...Macabre Mondays will make an appearance...just have to get a few more written...

Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Leigh and I'm so glad you caught the pun. I thought no one else would notice it.
Karen :0)

Loved your story this week. Anyone who hasn't seen it here's the link to Just one Drop

http://leighbarlow.wordpress.com/writing/flash-fiction/just-one-drop/

Lauren C said...

I liked it... but it reminded me of American Psycho, which was probably the most disturbing novel I've ever read... hm.

Still, here's another vote for Macabre Mondays!

Karen from Mentor said...

Hey Lauren,
I remember the movie trailers. And I remember thinking at the time that the subject matter WAS NOT something I'd watch...so it's funny that it's something that I'm fine with writing...lol...

sorry if I scarred your psyche....just erase any images this brought up by drawing something pretty...or looking at puppy toes, or DRAWING puppy toes...
[preferably still attached to the puppies]

poll results so far : 3 votes for macabre Monday...got it!

Thanks for stopping in honey.

Clive Martyn said...

Love this one, but then I also fell from the macabre, twisted tree... in the dark. Very well done.

Cat Connor said...

hee hee hee I love it. Sorry it took me so long to get here though.
It's Saturday, I've been out almost all day running around getting stuff organised for the trip next week... me and breezy on the Ferry for 3 hours!!! 3 HOURS. Did I mention it was a 3 HOUR trip on the freaking sparkly Ferry???
Just in case I didn't... it's 3 HOURS. With a nearly 4 year old during the night, when she should be asleep already. :-)

Maybe I could take someones lips with me...

Karen from Mentor said...

Ah good Cat I thought you'd enjoy this little dark piece of flotsam that got ejected from my brain. And tis the season for lips...but I think for the trip maybe you and Breezy should wear WAX lips...you can get them at the halloween store...

But read the dress code restrictions first for your mode of travel they may not allow contraband like wax lips....hmmm...let's see what was it you were going to be traveling on again? Was it the ferry? I seem to recall something about a ferry, but you were kinda vague.....

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Clive. I kind of like the idea of being a fruit that fell from a dark and twisted tree. But the tree I fell from has branches that shoot off into the light and roots that go deep into the grounded earth...so I think I even out in the long run...laughing...

Karen :0)

Cat Connor said...

Wax lips on the ferry. Yeah that'll work. I think I mentioned the Ferry from hell. I mean.. the Cook Strait Ferry. So hard to keep that straight.
:-)

Can they be bloody wax lips... I've still got some blood left over from the terrorbyte trailer. It's in the fridge.

Karen from Mentor said...

As long as it's non toxic blood. I'm all for atmosphere as long as it's safety conscious atmosphere. Maybe you can get the weather to cooperate and it will be a foggy night too....and if you powder your faces so you're really pale....with the blood and the wax lips...

oooh....I can just see the "scariest places on earth" film crew now....[cue dramatic music]
"THE COOK STRAIT FERRY...one of the scariest places on earth...."

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

Oh goody, I love a bit of gore with my morning coffee (I'm not being sarcastic, I really do!)

short and sweet, very enjoyable :)

Cascade Lily said...

Hehe excellent flash. Love the firm lips. And that's after they've been sliced and diced :D

Karen from Mentor said...

Ewwwwwwww Lily....laughing...I mean um...thanks!

not sure how firm they were once they were in his pocket.

Maybe we'll give him a backstory as a taxidermist or a plastic surgeon...someone who had ways to keep her beloved lips supple and fresh ......

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Glad to provide the gore as a side dish to your coffee then Mazz.

[the "oh goody" made me laugh]

Laurita said...

Well, that was unexpected. Now I'm picturing shriveled and decaying lips. This was short and spectacular.

elizabethditty said...

Ooo, gross! But I mean that in a good way! :-) Nice twist, and good work!

J. M. Strother said...

Funny, I thought I already left a comment here. But then, I'm easily confused and distracted.

A very short and twisted tale, just in time for the Halloween season. My reaction was similar to Elizabeth's, Oh gross, but I still got that twisted yet satififed feeling afterward. Good one.
~jon

Eric J. Krause said...

That certainly was creepy. And a bit gross. I liked it. ;-) Good story!

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Eric glad you liked it.... I just imagined hmmmm..... how can I write a tale about a plain old ordinary everyday run of the mill psychopath, but make it interesting....[grins at you]

@Jon I LOVE short flash with a punch. I really enjoyed that it left you " feeling gross but satisfied"...sounds like how a person feels after eating at a greasy spoon.[I just got an idea for a story] Thanks for following the bread crumbs back in to comment on my piece. It's nice of you to make the effort to stop in and see everyone in the group.

Karen :0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Hey Laurita,
Thanks for stopping in. Your use of the word spectacular was certainly a pleasant surprise for me.
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Elizabeth I had the same reaction when I got done writing it.....oooh...gross, but hey..that works!...laughing