Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dispensable.....



You tore at me
separating heart
from mind and body

You sucked my juices
til I crumbled to dust

Swept me under the rug

Mumbling words when
you tripped over
the lump

Not one of which was
sorry


34 comments:

Marisa Birns said...

What a cad!

*sob*

Laurita said...

Oh that last line. My heart. Ouch.
I love the angle you took with this.

wiredwriter said...

The second stanza. Yes. The second stanza.

Excellent all the way around.

KjM said...

Oh yes - the second stanza. But, that last line, that last line...

Jessie Carty said...

interesting play you can do with the title because the speaker seems to feel dispensable yet it is the one causing the pain that is truly dispensable. got me thinking!

ganymeder said...

How sad. *sniff*

The last line was perfect.

Anne Tyler Lord said...

Oh my - that is strong. Very powerful poem!

I watched a little of "Dark Shadows" last night for the first time (vampires) so the "You sucked my juices" had a different meaning for me.

Gracie said...

Powerful and punchy. No wonder it got picked up. Rock on, girl!

That it can be read with so many different interpretations makes it even more perfect.

Karen from Mentor said...

Aw thanks luv. It'll be in the June issue of Negative Suck I'm pretty jazzed about it.

This one was a hard one to show to the world. I'm going to be talking about dumping angst into poetry when I guest blog at Life's a Stage at the end of the month. This one will be my example I think.

Hugs!
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you to all of you for commenting. It means a lot that you took the time to tell me that this particular piece said something to you.

This is poetry at its most naked for me. And sharing my angst is not something I'm used to doing. It's nice that you all opened your arms.

Big giant group hug....

KjM said...

>>This is poetry at its most naked for me.

That is where the honesty lives, without which no writing, poetry or otherwise, can impact reader...or writer.

You opened your arms first. We just responded. Thank you for the gift.

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh Kevin,
You say the most beautiful things.


*happy sigh*

lindacassidylewis.com said...

Oh, very nice ... not pleasant, but good writing, Karen.

Jesus Crisis said...

A horrible thing to happen, but a perfect poem... wow!

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks so much John,
A wow is amazing coming from you.

Karen from Mentor said...

I know it's suprising to see something dark like this at Miscellaneous Yammering Linda, but sometimes I sneak one in. [I use a crow bar and make a slot in between the giggling and fairy dust.] So glad you came in and took the time to comment my lovely friend.

Bryan Borland said...

I love when you write poems about me, even if they show me at my worst. But, I mean, don't get me so drunk if you don't want me to stumble around.

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh baby boy,
I wish this was about you. But man would that be a sordid story and I'm pretty sure your husband would have objected to me getting you drunk.

judy said...

Wow. The power we have to hurt each other is as awesome as the power we have to heal. Beautiful, K. And sad.

Cat Connor said...

You did good kid!

:-)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks mom.

*hugs you*

Karen from Mentor said...

Judy said:
Wow. The power we have to hurt each other is as awesome as the power we have to heal. Beautiful, K. And sad.

Karen said:
But the power to heal is so much better. It's all been a journey. The fun part is now.

Thank you for what you said here and in private.
*big big love*

Al Bruno III said...

I really liked this one.

MichellSommerville0202 said...

很喜歡你的blog哦...加油唷 ........................................

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks for stopping in Michell, glad you liked the poem. And thanks for saying you're enjoying visiting the blog.

[I'm so glad that google has the translate feature even if some things do get lost in translation. But on the other hand...thinking about some of the comment exchanges.... maybe that's a good thing]
Stop back any time.
:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks for stopping in Al. Much appreciated.
:0)

Kris said...

All I can say is WOW! I can almost feel the pain! (And I mean that in a good way. Not as in it's painful to read your work! LOL!)

Short Poems said...

You have beautiful pen Karen :)
love the way you write!

hugs marinela x x

estrella05azul said...

Such a powerful poem Karen, loved it even if it left me feeling sad... sorry can make all the difference sometimes...

Karen from Mentor said...

Amen Estrella.

@Short Poems, thank you Marinela! Really appreciate you stopping in.

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Kris, thank you.
Your comment brought an old joke RIGHT to the forefront of my brain, but I can't quite get a grip on it. It'll come to me though. It's ok if I call you at 3:00am right?

I know poetry isn't your thing, so it means a lot to me that you took the time to read and comment.

hugs!!

J. M. Strother said...

Powerful and poignant. Excellent, if painful, poem, Karen.
~jon

Jodi MacArthur said...

I was just reading your post over at Life's A Stage, had to read the poem.

Naked, raw, vulnerable, and that last line is just the clencher. Everything about these words are human. Beautiful work, Karen.

Karen from Mentor said...

Jodi and Jon,
Thank you so much for commenting. This was a rough one, but I'm glad I wrote it and I'm glad I published it.

Jodi, I think you hit the nail on the head. Being human and letting it show while you create something seems to strike the deepest into the heart of those you share it with.

hugs to both of you for your beautiful words.
:0)