Monday, April 26, 2010

Electrified by air.....


Your breath
on my neck
jolted me to
life

Startling rushing
molten swollen
arousal

Caused by an
invisible element

26 comments:

Gracie said...

(wipes brow)

Very sexy, Karen. Naughty girl. :-0

Beautiful, clean and perfect. I love it.

Marisa Birns said...

The flame stirred into action by 15 percent of that pure substance.

Raw, and beautiful, sensuality.

Alan W. Davidson said...

As usual, after reading one of your sensual poems, I find myself in need of a cold shower. Excellent poem, Ms. Schindler.

estrella05azul said...

Sexy poem Karen, of course you already know that :)

I love how you write sensual poems, but each poem is always fresh!

Michael Solender said...

high voltage, this one!

Laurita said...

Zap! I can feel that electrity in every word of this. Makes my hair stand on end.

judy said...

I always love how Marisa describes your poetry. You need to have her write your jacket flap some day! This is dizzying! Love it.

Karen from Mentor said...

Marisa does have a wonderful way with words.
*happy sigh*

Love all the descriptions, thank you all so much for taking the time to comment.

And as far as keeping sex fresh Estrella? Sometimes I use Saran wrap.

You guys rock.

I'd suggest a big group hug, but I don't think Alan's heart would take it.

Alan W. Davidson said...

You may be right, Karen, but I'd take my chances anyway. What a way to go!

Karen from Mentor said...

Ok, you all heard the man...

BIG GROUP HUG!!!

Laura Eno said...

I agree...Marisa has a way with words.

Now, Alan in saran wrap...has a certain visual, don't you think?

Karen from Mentor said...

Laura,
I think even if one is not in the room when it happens.... if one makes a man's heart explode with skillful use of innuendo it's still technically murder.

[just sayin]

grins at you and says...ok kids, that was fun. Anybody still want to talk about the poem?
....laughing....

*hugs Laura*

KjM said...

You even captured the rhythm, Karen.

The gentle beginning in the first stanza. The urgent, breathless beat of the second leading to a languid tapering off in the third.

The peak with the stress falling on the "Caused" is just perfect.

Really delicious, this one.

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh I'm so glad you said that Kevin. That was exactly what I thought when I finished writing it.

Good rhythym is important in this sort of thing. [pretty sure I'm still discussing poems]

Thank you for your insightful comment.It's so kind of you to really take the time to absorb a piece and then critique it with a soulful eye.

*happy sigh*

Netta said...

Well...

I'm sorry. I needed to take a moment. I'm sure you understand ;)

Lovely. I'm always impressed when such strong emotion can be expressed in so few words. Darlin', you had me at "Your breath" and by the time we got to "molten" and "swollen" I was a goner.

Nice job! :)

Bryan Borland said...

Is this about that volcano in Iceland? :)~

Either way, something is making me hot and decreasing my visibility!

Karen from Mentor said...

Try putting your head between your knees and taking deep breaths until your vision clears Bryan. That or breathing into a paper bag should help.

[you big silly]

Karen from Mentor said...

Netta,
I was pretty sure you'd like this one. It's just your style. Thank you so much for stopping in to see me and for leaving such a wonderful comment.
hugs darlin.
k :0)

Brian Miller said...

wow where can i find me some of that invisible element? smiles. nice sensual feel to this...

Karen from Mentor said...

This is one of my favorites Brian, Thanks for stopping in to see it.
Much appreciated.
:0)

Claudia said...

hmmm - very sensual in a nice and warm way

Karen from Mentor said...

thanks Claudia. I actually label these types of poems "sensual sentences" -- it took me a while to decide to call them poems, because a lot of times the pieces are just wishful thinking done outloud. *grins*

Thanks for the new stomping ground to connect with other poets.
:0)

Jo Bryant said...

Sensual and raw - great...

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Jo, nice of you to drop in.
:0)

Kim Nelson said...

And we adore that invisible element, don't we?

Karen from Mentor said...

AbsoFRICKINlutely Kim.
:0)