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It helps if you think about baseball
Error.....I offered
you took
You offered
I reached
You balked
I'm out
I've stripped off
my
jersey
Going naked into
the world to find
someone else naked too
To live where there's
love
Not love of the game
18 comments:
"To live where there's
love
Not love of the game" - exactly! Wonderful poem honey, I love it :)
*think back if there's any given poem she didn't like... nope!*
Hugs!
Beautiful! I don't want to think about baseball though...well, maybe some kind of b...nevermind. Somehow, I'm always getting into trouble and you seem to be at the root of it. And then, you blink innocently with Bambi eyes and laugh...
Love that ending, and your depiction of the maddening dance that comes before you realize what you really want. If only the real world was as precise and lovely as your poetry.
That was such a wonderfully insightful and open hearted thing to say, thank you Judy.
Laura? I'm laughing with you, not at you...well, mostly with you. Sometimes at you, but you are pretty funny, so it's your own damn fault. Thank you for the "beautiful" on the poem.
Estrella? The worst part of playing games is often the other person makes up new rules as they go along, and doesn't necessarily share the play book. Never been a fan of emotional games. Now baseball? That's something else again. Hugs honey! Thanks for the comment. You're such a luv!
I really love your style of poetry. Lovely.
oh sigh...all the wasted time before the aha moment. Guess that's life, and you package it in a small, powerful poem so well. :-)
Thank you Shannon. *hugs Shannon*
@ganymeder It's so sweet of you to take the time to come in and read and comment. I really appreciate it.
And thank you for the "lovely" about the poem.
*happy sigh*
"I offered
you took
You offered
I reached
You baulked"
You take so much and distill it into these simple, rhythmic sequences! Simple, yet in no way easy - just like the themes of your poetry.
Another both lovely and beautiful one, Karen.
Sorry for the typo - jet lag (my excuse). There's an Oscar Wilde quote about typos that fits this somewhere. :-}
Oh, wow! That is just too perfect! One of the coolest things I've read on your site or anywhere! The way you kept it brief yet packed so much meaning into it made it all the more powerful!
Lovely poem, sad, yet hopeful at the end. I hate playing games, well emotional games at any rate. The baseball metaphor works very well here. No sense really, in playing extra innings.
~jon
What's sad is when person never takes charge of the "aha" moment and does something about it.
Very poetic hopeful here.
Beautiful, too.
Awww thanks Marisa and Jon for the "lovely" and the "beautiful".... I agree with you that hanging out for the extra innings often seems like the safe bet. So many people see the aha moment and bury it in the sand because it's so scary to change, to upset the statis quo, that it's easier to just stay in a non nurturing relationship.
I don't think it's worth living like that if it's sapping joy from your life; if you're wasting energy trying to figure out mind games and the other person becomes an "opponent" instead of a teammate.
When there isn't someone in your corner rooting for you, it's too easy to be ko'd
Geez, how many sports references can a gal pack into one comment? [answer a lot more than that, be glad I spared you the other twelve]
Thank you both for taking the time to comment.
:0)
Geez Kris,
Did you like the piece?
*blushes and hugs Kris really hard*
:0) <-- that's a REALLY big smile
Thank you for this Kevin:
"You take so much and distill it into these simple, rhythmic sequences! Simple, yet in no way easy - just like the themes of your poetry"
*hugs Kevin*
Have a good time and a safe trip home.
:0)
Throw out the rule book! There are no rules. Especially here, where there is only great poetry.
And no rules to the poetry....bwahahahahaha... oh wait...sorry...
Got a bit carried away there.
Thanks for using the word "great"...I think it went to my head a little.
*grins sheepishly*
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