Friday, July 16, 2010

Wanda Warmheart’s Witchy Ways …………Flash Fiction

Wanda Warmheart didn't want to be a witch, one day she just woke up and was.

Wanda wandered down the way wiggling her ears and whistling. Wanda didn't know any other girls who could wiggle their ears, and few who could whistle well. Wanda felt that the two things together were a fine way to while away the time while walking, but by next week she wanted to work in juggling as well.

Wanda walked along waving her hands at trees, certain that eventually she would find one which would open to reveal a wondrous world. A world which would welcome Wanda Warmheart and appreciate her witchy ways.

Wanda liked trees. You always knew where you were with a tree. Trees went down into the earth, they went up into the sky, they gave off oxygen and positive energy. They stayed put; despite what wags sometimes whispered. Trees were dependable. Wanda was a tree hugging witch. A white magic witch. Not the other kind. Wanda felt cackling and eating small children who gobbled the latticework round your wainscoting would be icky. And Wanda didn't do icky.

Wanda's nose, unbidden, paused Wanda in her walking to inhale a wonderful smell wafting from a nearby dell still wet with dew.

Wanda wrestled the weeds aside and wriggled through the wet undergrowth in search of the source of the beguiling aroma.

What met Wanda's widened eyes was wondrous. Wanda pinched herself lightly; willing herself not to waken if what was before her was a lucid dream.

The solid looking woman adjusting the logs on the fire wrested all doubt from her mind that the scene in front of Wanda's wide eyes and wider nostrils was real. No vision could be that beautiful. No smell that alluring, and since no one could possibly sleep through the amount of drool currently filling her mouth without drowning on their pillow; Wanda concluded that she must
be awake .

This woman looked like she knew the secrets of the universe. And Wanda had some questions. Oh yes, lots of questions. Questions about caterpillars and ghosts and zombies and why cooked pudding gets a skin but the kind you buy ready made in the store doesn't, so many, many questions about the wild workings of the wonderfully wide worlds.

The woman looked up at her and smiled, then looked off to the side and said:

"Oh dear, and before you even get to eat…."


Wanda? Wanda…. WANDA!…. Miss Flotsum's voice finally penetrated and Wanda came together with a whap unheard by the classmates in the rows surrounding her desk.

"Yes, Miss Flotsum?"

"I asked if you could please go to the board and solve the problem."

Wanda slid out of her seat and squelched to the chalkboard, worked at the problem for a bit and came up with 42. She squelched back to her seat, everyone in the room noting her wet shoes and the muddy knees of her jeans. Wanda knew that soon she'd be able to keep the connection longer and then she'd get some answers to her questions about the myriad worlds she slid into with ease. But for now, she figured it wouldn't hurt to learn a little more math to help her along the path to her witchy ways.


pegjet said...

Of course the anwer was 42!

This seems like it was fun to write. Your eye-twinkling shines behind the prose.

Kim Batchelor said...

Clearly math and witchcraft are integrally entwined. I always suspected...

I particularly like, "Wanda felt cackling and eating small children who gobbled the latticework round your wainscoting would be icky. And Wanda didn't do icky." Very fun story, Karen.

Anonymous said...

What word would work well? WoW! :-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, well written! No, really, it reads like an actual spell. I was a little hypnotized by it.

And the story is great. That girl has quite a future ahead of her.

Love it, Karen dear!

Laura Eno said...

It's hard to do math problems with squelching shoes and muddy knees...

*clapping* :)

Helen Ginger said...

I could see this leading to a book about Wanda. Have you thought of that?

Straight From Hel

Karen from Mentor said...

Yes, I have Helen. As a matter of fact I tagged it "novel excerpt" because this character has been talking to me for a couple of weeks.

I love it when they move in with their toothbrush and stay awhile.

Wanda's is pink with sparkles.

Karen from Mentor said...

Don't you just make Jezebel do all your math Laura?

I'd think she'd be impervious to mud.

Thank you for the clapping, my love.
*looks pleased*

Karen from Mentor said...

Gracie? You really really want to make Karen some cookies.

Karen from Mentor said...

Peggy, It was sooo much fun to write. I'm lovin this character.

*smooches Linda*

Giggling..thanks Kim...and loved how you tweeted the link. I'm going to respond with "no children were harmed [or gobbled] in the writing of this story..."

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and comment.

Much appreciated!

Laurita said...

Wildly wimsical and wonderfully woven. Artfully alliterative.

Karen from Mentor said...

This story was brought to you by the letter "w" Laurita....

Been missing you missy ma'am!!!!!!

[jumps around like a puppy for a while]

Uh oh. I used six exclamation points. I told Lauren this morning that using more than five slips you over the slippery slope from excitement to land *splat* down onto the sharp cliffs of madness....

Somebody come take a look at my eyes to see if they're spinning....

[and bring some of the cookies Gracie made]

Mary@GigglesandGuns said...

I know it's for children but the child in me wants the rest of the story!
Giggles and Guns

Rachel S said...



Karen from Mentor said...

*wipes proud mom tear from her eye*

Thank you for that baby.
You rock.

Karen from Mentor said...

@ Mary, the child in me does too! Who says we can't always get what we want? Well, besides Mick Jagger... but you know what I mean..

There will be further adventures...bwahahahahaha

Laura Eno said...

Rachel has turned into Dr Seuss!

Karen from Mentor said...

Nope Laura...Rachel just used some dribbly candles and channeled Bert singing the W song.

[which I couldn't FIND just now on youtube - I... or it...must be broken]

Jodi MacArthur said...

If I hug some weeping willows will, like Witchy Wandering Wanda, my math improve? I wish I knew this in Junior High. Oh, Witchy Witchy Wanda with her wondrous wandering ways. I love the play on W. Your writing is always fresh and entertaining, Freckled Vixen.

Jen said...

Wow! I want to write a comment using only Ws, but I'm not that good. This is great. :)

KjM said...

Well, well, well. Wonderful wackiness, and well-written withal.

I loved Wanda's thinking on trees and "42", such a useful number, no? :)

This is a novel I'd love to read, there's such a sense of play that comes through clearly. And Wanda is a protagonist I'd be happy to follow on her adventures.

It might be difficult to sustain the "W" theme over an entire novel though. (Although, that's from my own, lesser, perspective.)

I enjoyed this. Really well done.

Eric J. Krause said...

Well that was a wily tale if there ever was mean, one. That was a lot of fun to read. Good one!

Alan W. Davidson said...

I like wacky Wanda and her weird and wonderful ways! Great job, Karen. I thought the same thing as Helen. THis deserves many continuations that may end up 'who knows where'. Well done, ma'am.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you sir. Loved your flash today. But we are going to have WORDS about you carving a tree.
*glares at Alan*

Karen from Mentor said...

giggles at Eric

Thanks Jen! All w's is not a wequirement.
[I feel like Babwa WaWa]*

*points awarded to those in the audience who either REMEMBER that, or have classic SNL on DVD.

Karen from Mentor said...

The W's are pretty easy Kevin since the main characters all have W's in their names
[nods wisely] Her dad's name is Wendell and her BFF is Wyatt.....

I almost called this The futher adventures of Wanda Warmheart..... but then I found a VERY similar title already out there *sigh*

The book feels like Terry Pratchett and Bruce Coville had a love child.....

Thank you for your lovely words.

Karen from Mentor said...

Jodi I am so delighted to have you come to visit.

I CAN NOT wait to see my alter ego in the flesh--so to speak. Your description of the hairdo alone...."looks like tree branches but makes the skull look kind of bare..." Made me laugh and laugh.

*hugs Jodi cuz she's delightful*

The Freckled Vixen Lives

John Wiswell said...

Women, falling right into the stereotype of stinking at math and generally being witches. Tsk.

Karen from Mentor said...

*raps John [gently] on the knuckles with a ruler*

Pay attention Man! She's EXCELLENT at math, and just happens to be a witch. Plus at 12? Can't be called a woman yet.

She's a girl. A girl with many skills.

*glares at John for a minute*

But then remembers he went out of his way to quote Chris Farley at her earlier.... so gives him a break THIS TIME.

Thanks for coming in JW

Rachel Blackbirdsong said...

Wow this was weeally, I mean really great fun. I look forward to reading the continued adventures of this character.

Sam said...

Ahahahaha! 42! Perfect, just perfect. Thoroughly enjoyed this tale. I'd love to read more about Wanda.

ganymeder said...

Wanda was certainly wonderful with her weirdly witchy ways! I wonder whether she's ever met Douglas Adams? Hehe

Loved the sing song language of the little girl. Lovely.

Tomara Armstrong said...

I love it... got lost int he alliteration and overall sweetness of the piece.

Maybe that IS truly the meaning of life?

shannon said...

Wowie, indeed! I could easily see her in not just a book, but a movie. Love her! And you!

Mari said...

What a wonderful wiggling tale! Me wants more too! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I love this!
And, I can imagine quite a few questions to ask about the secrets of the universe myself :)

Anonymous said...

Wondrous way of writing a wee one walking the witch's way. ;)

J. M. Strother said...

What a great opening line! Now I have to go back up and read the rest. Just had to share that.

Be back soon.

J. M. Strother said...

OK, I'm back. I was not disappointed, it was hilarious. So glad I was not drinking anything while I read your wondrous words.

Karen from Mentor said...

Thank you for sharing your initial reaction. Reading your two part harmony comment made my day. And warmed Wanda's heart.

*grins at Jon*

Karen from Mentor said...

Love you too Shannon. :0)
Thank you for your kind words.

Who do you think should play Wanda in the movie?

[never too early to think about casting...or about the catering table. They've GOT to have cookies...and those little cocktail weenies]

Anonymous said...

I really liked the play with the alliteration in the witchy world as compared to the normal one. Great job.

Kris said...

In the mood for some alliteration today, are you?!? Cool!

I wish your story had answered the pudding skin mystery though. That keeps me up at night.

Karen from Mentor said...

I know Kris...that's one of those hard mystery of the universe questions. Gracie solved a mystery for me yesterday.

x's are hugs...o's are kisses...

xx to you Kris! Thanks for stopping in my lovely friend.

Karen from Mentor said...

@antisocialbutterflie ... yes....I meant to do that...I um...didn't notice it just now when you pointed it out...nope nope nope...

[nothing to see here, you guys just go on about your business while I talk to Wanda for a while...]

Karen from Mentor said...

@Estrella,Mari, vandimir and Sam... I so appreciate you taking the time to comment. I loved writing this story, and the rest of it is coming along swimmingly...[all will be revealed in time]
Big Big Smiles!!

@ Tomara...that life should be sweet? or 42? I'm good either way... :0)

@RachelBlackbirdSong and ganymeder...the language just flows wonce I mean once you start doing it... try'll like it...

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and comment on my flight of fancy.


*big group hug*

Marisa Birns said...

Oh, just loved this! Knew a Wanda in school and whenever Sister St. Cornelia had her go to the blackboard to work out a math problem, Wanda never got it correct.

Of course, at that time she did not understand that 42 IS the answer to everything.

Your flight of fancy was a wonderful ride. There was even a cabana boy...err...steward who served drinks!

This comment comes courtesy of the letter "A" and a gold star!

Karen from Mentor said...

Yay. I got an A!

*puts gold star on her refrigerator*

...skips happily off...


mazzz in Leeds said...

While I would love to be able to wiggle my ears and whistle, I can see how within a week one would want a new challenge to add to the fray!

Love your imagination :-)

Karen from Mentor said...

Maybe Wanda wants a yoyo. Nah. The juggling would be splashier. Especially if the balls light up.

Thanks Maria.

Lou Freshwater said...

Love Wanda.

Love stopping by here.

Thank you for another great read!

Karen from Mentor said...

Lou, I'm so glad you stopped in. I so enjoyed seeing the new view out your window last week.
Lovely to see you.
*big hugs*
Karen :0)