Tuesday, September 28, 2010

May I direct your attention to the center ring…..

I just got a spam email saying that I could be entitled to a legacy of seventeen million five hundred thousand dollars. I'm laughing because at this stage of the game I'd be pleased with a legacy of $305.00.

But the silver lining on the disappointment of not being suddenly insanely rich is being gifted with a new character name. Malcolm Foy. Isn't that a moniker just dripping with possibilities? The Foy part brings to mind the circus family and Malcolm? Well, Malcolm would just have to be a chap who wears a sweater with leather elbow patches. So I'm envisioning a scene with Malcolm high in the air in his leotard and sweater, swinging upside down on the trapeze when his lit pipe suddenly tumbles to the straw below, alighting it, and panic ensues.

I just have to figure out a way to craft it so none of the elephants get hurt. I'm a sucker for elephants. Maybe I'll send them all out to have their toenails polished or something right before the fire rages through the big top.

After all, after a hard day of balancing on balls, what elephant doesn't enjoy a walk through the butter in a nice roomy Frigidaire [to soften the cuticles] followed by a good pedicure?




-Google sourced image-

25 comments:

ganymeder said...

So, I take it that' s your #fridayflash for next week? LOL

Gracie said...

Ooh, the little babykins is too cute! I love elephants, too, and would never make spam from them.

Can't wait to see the story this turns into. Gonna be a riot, I'm sure.

lindacassidylewis.com said...

I love that your mind comes up with something delightful from spam. Footprints in the butter :-)

Karen from Mentor said...

How can you tell if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
-- A set of footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there's 2 elephants in your refrigerator?
-- 2 sets of footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there's 3 elephants in your refrigerator?
-- 3 sets of footprints in the butter.

While gathering these jokes I came across an article explaining why some people don't find elephant jokes funny. It goes to the core of allowing/disallowing yourself to let go and be silly. I've been running into lots of folks of late who have no concept of the silly. I much prefer the company of those who can not only picture an elephant in their refrigerator, but will actually occasionally look for the footprints in the butter.

I think maybe we should add "stop and look for the elephant prints in the butter" into the lexicon along with "stop and smell the roses"

Ah...the simple things in life....

*grinning*

Karen from Mentor said...

oh Gracie....laughing...yes, making spam from elephants would be truly horrifying. Spam's bad enough as it is without adding elephantcide to its many sins.

*casts her memory back to camping*

yep. There it is. That fried Spam taste. Yuck. *thinks about skunks instead*

Karen from Mentor said...

@ganymeder um....maybe....This MIGHT turn into a flash....

*rubs chin in traditional thinking gesture*

Let's see... if I had Malcolm's pipe alight some performing ducks instead of the straw floor I could probably work these joke concepts in...:

Why do ducks have flat feet?
-- To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
-- To stamp out flaming ducks

Then the elephants and ducks could save the day.

I'll just have to be very very careful not to put flaming and duck in more than a couple of sentences because of the possibility of typos. This is a family friendly place after all....

But even so, the phrase "flaming ducks" might not get past the Anti defamation [don't ask don't tell] and non squishing of duck performers league...ADNSODPL-I'll have to check the bylaws...

Cat Connor said...

I can't comment, finger keeps hitting F key when thinking about ducks.

It's too early in the morning... No elephants were harmed during the writing of this piece. The {insert feathered creature here}however were done to perfection and served with orange sauce.

Karen from Mentor said...

Hmmmm....duck l'orange for breakfast... seems a ritzy way to start the day. But hey, you're armed, and only on your first cup of coffee, so I'm not kibitzing....

Laura Eno said...

Elephants are much too cute to harm, but they can't get into my butter...I keep the lid closed on the tub.
You and I must be related, since I got the same notice of inheritance...

Karen from Mentor said...

Sisters in spirit Laura, sisters in spirit.

I love elephants. Always have. I told Gracie earlier that I've always wanted to see the elephants happily marching down the streets of cleveland from the train to the stadium when the circus comes into town each October. I'm going to do it this year. And I'll have pictures baby, believe me. I think it happens at four in the morning, so they may be bleary pictures...but still....

*grinning in anticipation*

John Hayes said...

That's funny--I've often thought the spammers would be a good source for character names. Don't think I've met Malcolm yet.

Alan W. Davidson said...

The elephants are always obsessing about their pedicures because they're always stepping in the pachyderm poop (umm...yes, I did have to look up the spelling of that).

KjM said...

How can you tell if there's 4 elephants in your refrigerator?
-- You can't shut the door!

Foy - he's a jolly good fellow. As anyone with leather elbow patches would be, no?

So please, remove one of those elephants at once. The light from the refrigerator is bothering me.

Although, with the heat of the day we've had, leave the door open and to hell with the ozone layer!

Thank you for the nonsense, please hold the spam. However, duck l'orange, even for breakfast, does sound tasty.

Allons-y!

estrella05azul said...

Such a cute elephant!!! And that's an image of Malcolm I'd love for you to develop further ;)

Great jokes too!
My personal favorite wild animal jokes are these series of questions:

Q1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
- Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

Q2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
- Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

Q3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend… except one. Which animal does not attend?
- The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.

Helen Ginger said...

Okay, you got me. Baby elephants and baby pigs - love 'em both. And that picture is one cute elephant.

Malcolm Foy does sound like a great character name.

Karen from Mentor said...

Squee...baby pigs! Baby pigs, baby elephants and baby aliens. All sooooo cute.

Karen from Mentor said...

laughing at/with Estrella. This is just one of the many reasons I love you. You aren't afraid to join in ... giggling...

It's too bad about the elephant missing the lion king's conference. He should have kept an appointment book in his trunk.

Karen from Mentor said...

Allons-y! Indeed Kevin...An old earth saying...a phrase of great power and wisdom and consolation to the soul in times of need....

I love an obscure reference.

*takes the fourth elephant out of KjM's fridge*

[stands and beams at you for a while]

Karen from Mentor said...

Ah Alan, thanks for the tip. And kudos on your well spelled alliteration there my friend.

:0)

Karen from Mentor said...

John, I have a whole list of spam names. Some of them are hysterical, especially in combination with each other.

The funniest thing involving spam I've ever personally experienced was when one slipped through the spam filter and came into the submissions inbox at Pow Fast Flash Fiction. I read the whole thing thinking someone was spoofing those "please help" letters as a piece of fiction...then I got to the end where they asked me to send money and twigged.

K.M. Weiland said...

You have to wonder where these spammers get their names (or their spelling). Little do they know how easy it is for a writer to turn an annoyance into a silver lining!

Karen from Mentor said...

I think that's what's known as making a silk purse out of a sow's ear KM... oh hey...have you ever eaten an elephant ear at the county fair? Impossible to do without getting powdered sugar all down your shirt front.

[Today is apparently free association day in Karenland]

Here, look at this ink blot, what does it look like to you?

*looks expectant*

John Wiswell said...

Mmm. Elephant butter.

Karen from Mentor said...

With strawberries... yum...

KjM said...

The inkblot? Looks like a footprint to me, what else?