Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Receptionist……….Flash Fiction

Stupid bitch. She did it just to get me in trouble. The boss told me she had a heart condition and to cut it out, but what was she, 22? 23? I figured she was just shining him on to get sympathy. And now she'd gone and died on me.

She thought we were all out to lunch. Taking out the shelves and hiding in the fridge to jump out at her when she came for her lunch was supposed to be funny. I was hoping to get her to wet her pants, or scream or something, not freaking die.

The rest of the crew will be back in twenty minutes. I guess I should have listened to Slim. He told me not to do it. To lay off her, that enough was enough.

I can stuff her into the fridge. I'll get Slim to help me strap it to a dolly and load it into my truck. Then I guess I'll have to take care of him too. Mom'll be pissed. But if she makes trouble there's probably enough room in the fridge for three.

20 comments:

Laurita said...

I hope it's not one of those teeny little office fridges. That's could be difficult.

It's probably really wrong that I found this so hilarious, but I won't apologise. ;)

netta said...

*snickering* I thought *I* was having an Irritating Day! But I love your solution. Heh.

Eric J. Krause said...

How dare she take it all too far and die! Some people, I swear!

Alan W. Davidson said...

Creepy. You seem to be getting inspriation from your fridge...

estrella05azul said...

That's one family sized fridge :))
How creepily wonderful a flash!

Mike Robertson said...

Gotta admire a gal that can think on her feet like that. An Agent in the making maybe.

Nice one Karen!

ganymeder said...

Wow. She really has a wicked sense of humor!

Laura Eno said...

That's really sick...well, not your story...it was freakin' hilarious...but you got me to thinking how you could improve the situation. All you'd need is a deep freezer, lots of saranwrap and...never mind.

Karen from Mentor said...

I love Eric's comment. That was exactly the tone I was going for.

Poor him. Everything happens to him....laughing... I almost titled it "why me?"

Karen from Mentor said...

No, don't apologize Laurita. Dumb criminals are meant to be funny. Glad you enjoyed it. [And it was a full size fridge in the story, but I just spent a happy couple of minutes imagining the guy squishing himself into a mini fridge. So thanks for that!]

*hugs Laurita*

Karen from Mentor said...

*worries about Netta and Laura for a bit*

*grins at Mike and Cathy and Estrella*

Karen from Mentor said...

*pinches Alan for telling people I talk to my fridge*

That was told to you in confidence mister!

John Wiswell said...

Women in fridges. Are you a comic book fan, Karen, or is this a happy accident?

Karen from Mentor said...

Years ago, I had a coworker actually do the fridge thing to me John.

Just FYI? That was a really odd place to work as you can imagine.

*grins at you*

PJ said...

The nerve of some people, dying and all. Definitely sounds like it's getting crowded in there. Almost seems like perhaps he's done this before ...

Jodi MacArthur said...

Knock one down and pass her around, stuff her in the fridge and throw off the bridge. Brrrrr.... ;-) Im making lyrics for your stories, Sweetie.
This is fun.

Karen from Mentor said...

LOL Jodi. Yes it is. Thank you for that. *continues singing the song as she goes about her day*

Karen from Mentor said...

I KNOW PJ! Right? He's just got it down so pat and all. Makes you wonder how his mother plants her bulbs in the fall without hitting all of those bodies in the shallow graves....

[they'd be shallow graves of course because I see this guy as too lazy to dig a proper hole. And who can blame him really? I mean it takes forever....]

Kris said...

What kind of fridge do you have? I'm in the market for a bigger one, since the size of our family seems to justify upgrading. One with a capacity to hold three bodies sounds ideal.

Karen from Mentor said...

The actual fridge in the story was a single door frigidaire that was ancient and smelled pretty iffy. The one in my fictional account was probably similar, but a bit bigger.

When you go shopping for your new fridge, I'm thinking you should just ask a few of the salespeople on the floor of the appliance showroom to see if they can squeeze inside and make your choice that way. I'd suggest you not do it in your own hometown though.

Although, come to think of it, once word about behavior like that got out, it'd probably save you money on halloween candy in the long run.