Monday, June 14, 2010

Holy time gap Batman, it’s all rather a blur…..

I woke up today, looked at my alarm clock/digital calendar and to my surprise it's two weeks later than it ought to be.

I noticed something else pretty strange right away, although in those first few minutes I thought that I was still dreaming. But nope, after I stumbled into the bathroom and splashed my face with water I looked in the mirror and to my astonishment found that yes, somehow, while I was sleeping, I sprouted four long lavender spotted tentacles from my ribcage and ankles. After the initial what the heck moment and the requisite time spent trying to remember anything about the last couple of weeks, I adjusted to the idea, and in the next hour or so I decided that having tentacles is actually pretty cool. And truthfully, the tentacles at my ankles seem like they'll be handy since they sport these really long prehensile toes at the ends. I spent about twenty minutes just dropping and picking up dimes on the tile floor in my bathroom with them. Then I found out that I could use them to type while I ate a bowl of cheerios. What a delightful surprise.

I could do without whatever seems to be trying to rupture its way out from between my shoulder blades though because it itches like a mother. If I use two mirrors, I can see it moving around under there, but whatever it is hasn't quite made it through the skin as of yet.

I hope that when it finally emerges it's another tentacle; but one with fingers. It'll be ever so handy for spiking my hair.

So, did I miss anything?

26 comments:

John Wiswell said...

It seems you missed the epidemic of xenorepitilitis. There's a pill for it. You can get it most anywhere. Make sure to take it with food, though, or you'll start changing the colors of your environment.

Karen from Mentor said...

Will do John. Thanks for the heads up.

If a genie ever grants me three wishes, the first will be the ability to change my surroundings at will.


Poor Will. He'll never know what hit him.

lindacassidylewis.com said...

Glad you're back. And is there any lovelier color for tentacles than lavender?

Karen from Mentor said...

Not in my estimation Linda.
I just spent a few minutes trying on all the stuff in my closet and lavender tentacles seemingly go with everything. I think they'll be the new black as far as fashion accessories go.

Although I did have to take scissors to all of my tops. But it's a small price to pay for being able to paint ceilings without a ladder.

Rachel said...

I'm hoping for wings. How cool would it be if you could fly around everywhere? Spewing flames from your mouth.... picking up unsuspecting people and throwing them to the ground... screeching and instilling fear into the hearts of the mortals...

Karen from Mentor said...

Oh how cool would wings be? But can I modify the flames from my mouth to shooting lasers from my eyes?

And um...I try not to do the other stuff. But you know, sometimes you backslide.

Helen Ginger said...

I think it will be wings with no toes, but perhaps some lovely spikey feathers.

Anton Gully said...

Such a fuss about getting your summer tentacles. Sheesh.

Taking scissors to your tops? Like in A Clockwork Orange? Kinky.

PJ said...

Welcome back from ... um... wherever it was that you were and I hope that we'll ... um... get used to the new "you" soon enough ;-)

Alan W. Davidson said...

That cosmetic surgery sure takes time out of one's schedule...how are the changes working out for you?

Karen from Mentor said...

Summer tentacles! Man that cracked me up. Happens a lot in your neck of the woods does it Anton?

Karen from Mentor said...

Don't worry PJ, I found out that if I concentrate hard enough I can get them to be invisible. Which is going to be a LOT of fun on the dance floor I wager.

Karen from Mentor said...

NO no no Alan. You misread. The tentacles just showed up. I didn't have them added. If I was going to add something it would be long wicked steel razor sharp blades that shot out of my knuckles like Wolverine. Well, that or an index finger that shoots silly string. Neon pink for preference.

Karen from Mentor said...

Lovely spikey wings-- especially if they're in the sable brown color family-- could be a nice complement to my sticky up hair Helen.

Or black would be fine too. I just hope they don't grow in white. White is just SO hard to keep clean while flying around terrorizing the villagers.

[or so I've heard]

Laura Eno said...

You've forgotten the winter problem... While anklet tentacles are very fashionable for summer with sandals, they're a bitch to work around when you shop for winter boots (and you have to keep them warm or they freeze and snap off - VERY painful waiting for the spring growth)

Glad you're back! :)

Karen from Mentor said...

So you're telling me that I need to enlist someone to knit me really long tentacle warmers before winter Laura? Wow, nice to get these tips from someone who has been there, done that.

*measures tentacles*

51" should do it.

And it's nice to be back luv.
Thanks for stopping in with the handy dandy tip.
:0)

judy said...

I get left out of all the fun epidemics. Sigh...

J. M. Strother said...

Tentacles. Yea. Those could be useful. I'm not sure about tentacles from the back, though. If it were me, I'd be hoping for wings. Although I am afraid of heights, so maybe not...

Welcome back.
~jon

Karen from Mentor said...

Being afraid of heights would certainly put a damper on the whole gleefully nose diving/swooping/screeching while striking fear into the heart of ground dwellers aspect of enjoying wings Jon. *sigh* If whatever that is lurking about back there turns out to be wings....whenever I [allegedly] terrorize a village I'll take an extra lap just for you.

And did you notice that Anton and Laura just took the sprouting summer tentacles thing in STRIDE? I'm starting to wonder if we haven't tapped a heretofore unknown underground mutant resource that's assembling itself now that the time is right under the #fridayflash banner.

Maybe as our leader you should start working on your diabolical laugh....

Karen from Mentor said...

I could rub one of my tentacles on you Judy and see if it's contagious.

[giggling and giggling....]

Kris said...

Sounds like more than a "what the heck" moment to me! But at least you can view things in a positive light!

Karen from Mentor said...

True Kris, true, looking for the silver lining is my default state, but in this instance I will admit that even I was a bit nonplussed at first.

You go along happily living your life and figuring you've finally get to a point where it's safe to say out loud "now I've seen everything" or "what's the worst that can happen?" or "Here hold my beer and watch this" ....then you wake up one morning with tentacles....

What's a girl gonna do other than roll with it?

estrella05azul said...

You look amazing with your new tentacles, and that's a pretty shade of lavender!

Glad you're back honey, huge hugs!

Karen from Mentor said...

Thanks Estrella!
As you know, when you're glow in the dark white like you and I are there's only a few pastels we can pull off. Luckily this lavender works with my skin tone.

And I found out this morning that the tentacles light up when I sneeze. So that's pretty nifty.

Huge hugs back my lovely!

Lauren C said...

Bwahaha! This post and all the following comments have completely and utterly made my day. Loved the bit about spending twenty minutes picking up and dropping dimes on the tile floor. And summer tentacles. Tee hee.

Do your tentacles have toothed suction cups like squids have? Because that would be cool. Though brushing all those little teeth would be a pain, and I hear you can't use anything but plain toothpaste.

Missed you, your good humor (and good humor truck?), and your writing so much! So very glad you're back.

Karen from Mentor said...

Squeeeeeee! at brushing tiny tentacle teeth Lauren. That's a great visual.

So lovely to see you and happy I made your day.

*skips off to see if my new tentacles know how to juggle*